The Oregon Trail

Waves of Change

2011-05-24T10:04:00.000-07:00

It's been a busy past few months. In fact, I can't believe it's almost summer.

Some new and exciting things have happened so far this year:

I tried snowboarding (twice). I fell a lot (a LOT), but I had a BLAST. I can't wait until next winter when I can do it again.

I finally ate my first oyster. It was baked with delicious things on top. So good.

I've maintained a dating relationship with a guy in the same city as me for more than 5 months. Yes, that's a first. Like I said, I'm learning a lot about myself.

Having said that, I also have worked to get over being totally crazy about a guy from last year. It's been difficult, mostly because I idealized him and the situation. But it's been an important thing to work through.

I went to New Orleans as an adult without my parents for the first time. I was there for a work conference and invited a friend to join me. We had a great time. I love that city.

I joined a softball team for the summer. We won our game this week (my first game)!

I recorded and edited my first ever podcast (for work)! I loved doing it, and have since recorded two more and put one up on the web.

I recently had an INCREDIBLE trip to Texas where I finally met my new nephew and got to have lots of special play time with my niece (who is almost 4 now, unbelievable!)

I remember back in 2010 reading some astrological forecast for me for 2011. It warned of lots of difficult changes to deal with this year. They centered around work and relationships. Well, lately I have definitely been witnessing these difficult transitions and learning periods. Being in this relationship is really fun, and I really enjoy and value the guy. But this is the first time I've gotten to that point where you really have to acknowledge your own insecurities and faults and work on them in order to make something work. I can really tell a difference in our interactions when I actively try to be open as opposed to when I clam up and think inwardly. Even though I'm pushing my comfort zones, the positive reinforcements I get are really rewarding. I'm truly seeing how my actions and words -- and especially those actions and words that go undone and unsaid -- can affect another person and my relationship with them, whether it be positively or negatively

While lots of fun and exciting things have been happening at work, recently things have gotten more difficult for me. My first friend in Oregon and amazing boss/team leader has recently resigned. I think this decision was a great one for her, and I'm proud of her. I just wish it didn't have to be this way, and I'm very much going to miss having her here at the office. I can already pinpoint ways the office dynamic is going to change, but I expect it will fully come to light once she is gone. Both professionally and personally, she has been a true guide, or "way shower." I need to figure out how I can best honor her influence on me and time here at my work. Her resignation hasn't necessarily started a series of events of change at work, but it has made the inevitable closer and more realistic, sadly.

Amidst all of this, I am eagerly working on my application for Oregon State University's Master's in Public Health program with a focus on Gerontology. I've been scared to admit this publicly, for fear I won't be accepted into the program. But I'm growing confident in my decision and ability to get into the school.

Also, not surprisingly, I'm moving again. Next week. I really need to pack.

Happy day

2011-01-21T08:54:00.000-08:00

Yesterday started off really crappily, mostly due to not feeling well. But then at some point in the morning I resolved "it's only going to get better...." and it sure did! So what made the day so glorious?

1. I finally made contact with (and heard back from) a graduate school program I'm looking at applying to.
2. Peja Stojakovic is now a Dallas Maverick! HOLLA!
3. My favorite lunch place was making lamb stew for today, and gave me a bowl of it for FREE. The dude that works there sort of knows me and knows how much I love lamb stew. Then he, the Scottish lawyer who also goes a lot, and I talked about local restaurants. He also made some interesting dessert, which I got a little bit of.
4. Had a great workout. It was my first workout in...too long.
5. It was sunny, and the sunset blew me away.
6. Got to hang out and catch up with my good friend.

So just six things, but those are all great things. I have three blogs in mind: 1. Black Swan 2. The Amateur Strip-off at John Henry's and 3. Facebook At some point soon I hope to actually write these and post 'em. See you when I do!

before kids...

2010-11-07T09:15:00.000-08:00

I have an overwhelming number of friends who are about to start trying to have babies or are thinking about starting to try. I'm happy for them that they're at that point in their life, and they feel like this is a positive next step for them. However, these people are my age, and that kind of freaks me out. I can safely say that I am nowhere close to being ready to have a kid right now -- for a lot of reasons. I would need more financial security, have advanced more in my career, and I lack the necessary partner, etc. But I think one of the major reasons I'm not ready is there is so much I want to do BEFORE I have kids. So I've started a "bucket list," but instead of wanting to accomplish all of this before I die, I want to do it before I have a kid. I'm sure it will grow as I think of new things...

1. skydiving
2. cross-country trip
3. a really long backpacking/river float trip
4. go to Vegas
5. lots more all-night dance parties
6. get another dog
7. go to Spain for a month (or three) and make random plans once I'm there
8. go to and graduate from grad school
9. get lost somewhere in the middle of the United States
10. go on a Mediterranean cruise or even a Caribbean cruise
11. brew and drink my own beer
12. build a treehouse...
13. get my owl and pura vida tattoos
14. a couple more music festivals

That's what I thought of in a 10 minute period, but, like I said, I'm sure as time goes on, I'll have more to add. I don't want to make it seem like I think being a parent is a boring, life-sucking thing. I don't necessarily think that... I just think there are a lot of things you might not be able to do once you have a kid. So...I'd like to get on that. Perhaps I'll start with the easiest ones...tattoos, beer brewing, and skydiving.

Dating

2010-09-03T16:15:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking about it lately, dating that is. I blame this on seeing the movie "Eat, Pray, Love". For those of you who haven't read the book or seen the movie, it follows a woman in her thirties (recovering from a divorce) as she basically discovers herself and becomes the whole person she can be before she can wholly love another. (kinda like the book "The Missing Piece Meets the Big O")

I definitely have (a lot of) hangups when it comes to dating. But seeing this movie did not make me want to work on these hangups, like it might make most women. No, instead I went home and decided it was finally time to clean out my book collection. This could be metaphorical....this could just be pragmatic. When I move, most of my boxes contain books.

At any rate, the first book I selected for judgment was "The Adjusted American: Normal Neuroses in the Individual and Society." I haven't read it yet, but it's supposed to examine modern day society and how we, as individuals, fit in. Coincidentally, the book fell open to the section concerning love. The author purports that contemporary romantic love is a projection of our own lackings onto the other person. We love about them what we cannot bring into the world. I see the logic in this. Hell, I might even agree with it to some degree.

Also noted is that (this was published in 1964), women are taught to NOT be masculine in the same way men are taught NOT to be feminine. And so, we were all taught to see these opposite traits in our mate. A big strong man for me, and a docile, cookie-baking wife for him. These gender traits were such defining characteristics of people, that their identities were often wrapped up in this. But society has changed SO much. Not only are we all a bit more narcissistic now, but the genders and their traits are much more fluid than they used to be. I think this part is good.

But what does that mean for finding a mate? When it is no longer clear what you are projecting into the world and what you're not, how can you find someone who fills in those gaps? Or, like in The Missing Piece Meets the Big O, should you even have these gaps? When one's gender characteristics are not necessarily distinguishable from one another, it becomes necessary to delve deeper. Few people have the patience for this. When people are so narcissistic and in love with themselves, is it even possible to see in others what you don't see in yourself?

I don't know. It's interesting though, especially given the rate of divorce today.

people are strange when you're a stranger

2010-07-15T22:22:00.000-07:00

I'd like to share a quote from my favorite show, "Curb Your Enthusiasm." Larry: "I don't like talking to people I KNOW, but strangers I have no problem with."

I wholeheartedly agree with Larry. I am (in)famous for striking up conversations with strangers. Some great things have happened as a result of this! Usually people who are willing to talk to a loud girl and carry on a conversation have something interesting to say. They don't always have GOOD things to say, but it's at least interesting in some form or fashion. I actually don't really consciously know WHY I love talking to strangers. I just do. I hope this comes in handy on the Alaskan cruise and at Pickathon. I think now my new buddy Jimmy and I are going to that together. Insanity ensues. Homeboy needs to buy his ticket though.

Speaking of Larry, last night I dreamed that I met him! This is probably the third or fourth dream I've had where I meet him, but this was by far the best. We were just two strangers talking to each other.

**I forgot to post this last night before going out with a friend. Incidentally, while we were out I started talking to a stranger from Irving, Texas! I love strangers!

It's July...already?

2010-07-08T19:39:00.000-07:00

The dreaded tonsillectomy has come and gone, and I managed to survive a jalapeno margarita last week, so I think I'm good on the throat front. Life has been pretty busy though!

In the past couple of months, I have:

1. Moved, again. Back to my old neighborhood -- perhaps I already mentioned this.
2. Bought a bike and have enthusiastically commenced riding. I ride to run errands, rike to work (sometimes), ride for fun, and best of all, ride in the middle of the night! Though I rode a bunch last Friday and effectively pinched a nerve due to my seat being wonky. I need to fix that.
3. not cared about the world cup
4. Made a new, fantastic friend with whom I have immense amounts of fun.
5. Attended and hosted lots of cookouts
6. devised an excellent plan to break my worst habit
7. dyed and cut my hair...it's a bit short
8. lost another 10 lbs (weaksauce...time to kick it in high gear)
9. found an excellent pancake recipe
10. developed a nice tan. i need to even it up though.

In the next couple of months I will:
1. Go on an Alaskan cruise with my mother and brother!
2. Attend Pickathon Music Festival for free (volunteering)! I'm going with a twitter/facebook friend who shares similar music tastes.
3. go camping several times
4. break my bad habit
5. lose 10 more lbs :-P
6. discover more, awesome music.

Life is pretty good. It's summertime. It's bound to be good. Kind of makes me dread winter, but we won't think about that!!

I'm considering going and doing pilates on the back porch...

Tonsillectomy and Taste

2010-06-21T12:20:00.000-07:00

I forgot to mention how my sense of taste has been totally distorted since the surgery! I think this is fairly common, and I've read it can take several months to restore everything back to normal. But for now, some of my favorite things are kind of repulsive. Like, for instance, one of my favorite beers! I almost gagged after drinking it. And then I had a pulled pork salad from Mucho Gusto today (which I get everytime I go, and I love it), and it was pretty horrible. Not everything is different, just some things. It's interesting, and kind of sad.

Tonsillectomy - Days 10-12 (On the Mend)

2010-06-21T09:00:00.000-07:00

Day Ten
I FINALLY started to feel better on Friday! I could even tell a difference in my mood; it was great. I was still eating lame food, but I just felt looser in my throat. Also, I knew I had coughed up a lot of scab, so that meant they were well on their way to coming off! Because I talked so much at work during the day, I went out with a friend to a movie that night. Everytime I DID talk, it felt pretty sore. It was nice to have a good reason to get the giant blue raspberry icee though!

Day Eleven
Saturday was a good day. I woke up and wasn't in too much pain, so I waited to take painkillers until just before I ate! It worked out nicely. I made strawberry pancakes for brunch, and they were delicious. It was nice to eat something flavorful and yummy. Then I made some chips for a cookout I was going to that night. I was sure to take some Lortab before I ate at the cookout, so I was able to eat half a hamburger (!!), snow peas, brownies, and my chips. It was quite the awesome feast, though admittedly the hamburger was a bit painful going down. Then I talked way too much (of course!) for my throat. I was hurting, so when I got home I took an Oxy.

Day Twelve
Another good day! I was able to take painkillers only before eating, and I went to book club, where I talked minimally because my throat was still sore. But I got a mexican scramble, and that was tasty. I had leftover pancake mix, so I made pancakes for dinner. Those were fairly painless. Anyway, I was pretty excited about my progress! I feel almost totally healed. It still hurts like hell to yawn. After Day 14, I'll be able to workout again, so I'm really looking forward to that!

what it feels like

2010-06-18T22:43:00.001-07:00

Lately I've been thinking about Luna a lot. She appears in practically every dream I have, and often she is the centerpiece of the dream. I think about her when I'm awake, and I'm still in shock that she's gone. I knew coming to terms with her absence would take a very long time, and I don't think I'm close.

But I've noticed that when I think about her, I feel a sensation all over my body. It's not just that I have a hole in my heart or my soul where she used to be; it feels as though every single cell that makes up my being is a bit empty. I can feel it in my skin, I can feel it inside my chest cavity, I can feel it in my head, and I can feel it in the blood that runs through me. It also feels like I'm reaching for something that's not there.

I know I sound crazy. And I know a lot of people think it's ridiculous to have this much difficulty grieving the loss of a pet, but that's sad to me that those people have missed out on the amazing bond and friendship that I had with Luna.

Tonsillectomy - Day 9 (Progress!)

2010-06-18T02:17:00.000-07:00

My vow of silence for the day seemed to work well. I didn't experience any incredibly agonizing pain (but I definitely did have some intense pain...). Talking was next to impossible anyway. For lunch I ordered some mac and cheese, and I managed to eat some of that. Then in the afternoon, I kept clearing my throat/coughing up stuff -- including some blood, but just a minimal amount. After a call to the doctor's office, I was pleased with her assumption that my scabs are finally coming off. She told me to gargle ice cold water and keep an eye on it. Since then I have continued coughing up/clearing out some pink colored mucusy stuff. More scab coming off! I have monitored the progress with a flashlight and a mirror, and I'm seeing more and more new flesh in the back of my mouth. This is very exciting for me, as this means I'm healing. The pain of Day 8 is a thing of the past! I'm looking to the future now :-)

I made mashed potatoes tonight, and those hurt like hell to eat. Then I went to a friend's to play Scrabble (she beat me by 54 points, DEVASTATING), and I probably talked more than I should have. For some reason I'm wide awake right now -- this medicine really messes with me. I'm looking forward to a restful weekend.

Tonsillectomy - Day 8 addendum

2010-06-17T10:24:00.000-07:00

I would just like to say that last night I experienced the WORST pain yet. First of all, I couldn't eat the smoothie -- it hurt entirely too much. Then, later I was laying on my right side watching the show on my laptop when a horrible, searing pain started in the bottom/right corner of my throat. I couldn't see it by looking in a mirror, so I don't know what the hell was going on. It's been pretty tight feeling in that area, and it felt like a tiny gnome was pouring acid and lemon juice on my throat while another tiny gnome was gleefully sawing away at my flesh. Again, tears sprang to my eyes as I clutched my throat and just...waited. It went away a few minutes later, but it came back a couple of hours of later. I'm not sure what the deal was. I'm guessing a scab was coming off?

At any rate, it further confirmed my theory that I strained my throat too much yesterday with all of the talking. Silence for Thursday.

A side note: It's kind of frustrating the lack of patience/understanding people around me have. Some people are SO SHOCKED that I'm, not only NOT completely healed, but feeling worse. It's really annoying to have to explain to people several times that there are SCABS in the BACK OF MY THROAT and that they have to PEEL and FALL off. Believe me, if I was feeling better, I'd be eating. I'd be talking. I'd be laughing. Being able to do all of that far outweighs any pity I might feel from people who think I should be better but am not.

Tonsillectomy - Days 7 and 8

2010-06-16T20:04:00.000-07:00

Day Seven
WORST DAY YET. Immense pain upon waking up. I couldn't move my head, and I had tons of drainage to cough up. Coughing is horrible, by the way. You're not really supposed to do it... I headed into work anyway, although I was beginning to see why most people take off around 10 days from work. Despite Oxycodone and Lortab, I continued to hurt during the day. I couldn't eat my leftover spaghettios. It was difficult to drink. At one point I tried to swallow the spaghettios, and the pain was so bad, I started to cry. I was mostly just stunned by the burning, hacksaw feeling in my throat; tears were inevitable. I had also developed thrush on my tongue (gross, I know, but I'm trying to be honest here). I called the doc's office about the thrush, and then moved up my Lortab dose. Shortly thereafter, I became incredibly sick to my stomach. Sooo I left work, went home, and took the first anti-nausea pill. Then I fell asleep. and slept. and slept.

I woke up at 7:22 with sunlight pouring into my window. Naturally, I freaked out and thought I needed to get the heck out of bed and get ready for work. Lo and behold it was 7:22 PM. I headed to the pharmacy to get my Diflucan for the thrush, and I bought some Vitamin Water to get SOME nutrients. I took some more Lortab and examined my dining options. Finally I decided on finishing a half-eaten peanut butter cookie after sufficiently soaking it in milk. Then I took an Oxy, watched The West Wing on my computer, researched music, and fell asleep around midnight.

Day Eight (today)
I woke up with less drainage, so I was feeling kind of optimistic for the day. I was sure to stay medicated, so the morning was fairly tolerable at work. We had our staff meeting, which involved a lot of talking on my part. We also happened to be celebrating a coworker's 20th anniversary with our organization (!!), so we had ordered pizza. I took a Lortab dose, and prepared to chow down. I successfully ate a couple of pieces of pizza!! Even though I could only eat the topping and softest bread part (the bottom and crust were far too crunchy), it was still a major victory for me. However, her lemon-poppyseed cake with raspberry topping was a NO GO! It hurt. Then I just went into the office and tried to stay awake/do work despite pain meds. I came home, still feeling relatively okay and took a nap. When I woke up, I had an extremely tight, pulling, burning sensation in the back of my mouth that worsened every time I tried to speak. I think I overdid it at work with the pizza/excessive talking. So I've made myself a strawberry-banana-peach-apple juice smoothie, and I'm trying to eat that. The numbing effect is nice. Looks like the rest of the night I'll be watching The West Wing and floating on Oxycodone.

And I have taken a vow of silence for tomorrow. Still waiting for my scabs to fall off!! How long does that normally take?!

Tonsillectomy

2010-06-15T01:02:00.000-07:00

I had a tonsillectomy last Wednesday (June 9, 2010), and it has been a bit of a rollercoaster ride. As lame as it sounds, it's been hard to turn to friends and family for support as none of them have had a tonsillectomy as an adult and thus don't know what it's like. What HAS been helpful are the plethora of online blogs I've found by other adults who have experienced it, sharing their details. By looking at their patterns of pain and recovery, I have been able to see what is normal, what isn't, and what I can still expect. As such, I thought I'd dedicate this post and the next couple of posts to sharing the (sometimes REALLY gross) details of my recovery. My MOST IMPORTANT piece of advice is to KEEP TRACK of when you take your pain meds. I am horrible at keeping track of time, so this was essential for me to avoid an overdose.

Tuesday, The Day Before:
I did all of my shopping today. I purchased a gallon of sherbet, two bags of ice, 2 boxes of popsicles, a set of popsicle molds (and made Throat Comfort Tea popsicles), 3 boxes of Jello, liquid Tylenol 500 mg, applesauce, and apple juice. I also set up an account with the local pharmacy with my ID and insurance card so picking up the meds the next day would be easier. I stayed up late doing work, but I was sure not to eat after midnight. I probably should have had more water than I did though, to get an early start on hydration.

Day One:
I checked in for surgery at 7 am. Since I am living in Oregon alone, I asked a good, RELIABLE friend to pick me up after I was done with post-surgery recovery. I'm a pretty chipper person in uncomfortable situations, and this was no different. Making jokes with the hospital staff helped alleviate any nervousness I had. I was actually relieved to be there alone and not deal with anyone else. I napped for awhile after changing into my gown, then two separate nurses came in to ask me a set of questions, set up my IV, and give me lots of warm towels. The anesthesiologist came in to check on some things, then I met with the doctor briefly and asked her to phone my mother after surgery. She checked my tonsils again to make sure they were still the size of Texas, and shortly thereafter I was wheeled into the operating room.

I was elated to see all women staff: the surgeon, the anesthesiologist, and the 2 nurses. I told them this made me happy, and as I was drifting off into my medical stupor, we made jokes about me dreaming of cabana boys serving me margaritas as I lay in my hammock. I liked the staff a lot.

When I woke up I was being wheeled from somewhere (op room?) to the first recovery room. I felt like I wanted to cry. Post-anesthesia depressive feelings are pretty normal, and I reminded myself of that. Still, I felt really sad and like the world was falling apart. Then I had some serious issues with post-nasal drip, a problem which would continue to plague me throughout my recovery. I was given ice chips and warm blankets. I rated my pain level at 4-5. I remained quiet and just tried to eat ice. Then I was wheeled into a second recovery room, where I was given an orange popsicle and water. Here I started to talk more, and I was told 3 times to stop talking :-). I was also convinced there was something stuck on the inside of my cheek, but it just turned out to be some extended cauterization I was feeling. It was unnerving. They gave me my first dose of Lortab, which was disgusting, but then I fell into a glorious sleep.

I woke up, took a stroll around the recovery floor with a strapping young CNA, and then my friend showed up to take me home. I was mostly feeling woozy and like I had just finished a marathon workout. My throat was sore, but nothing like what I expected. When my friend went to pick up my meds (we had to drop the prescriptions off), she also picked up three 32 0z bottles of gatorade for me, which was a good call! I rested for a bit, talked on the phone for a bit, and even ate some macaroni and cheese. I was feeling surprisingly great. I tried to stay hydrated, but I know I didn't drink as much as I should have. Still, I went to the bathroom a lot because of the IV fluids. I decided to sleep on the couch that night to stay upright.

Day Two
I woke up around 7 or 8 in a world of hurt on Thursday morning. I quickly took some pain meds, and felt better. I napped. I ate some leftover mac and cheese with little problem. I took more meds, I napped some more. I stayed on the couch most of the day. I ate some sherbet, but that ended up making me feel nauseated. I played on Facebook and Reddit.com all day. My pain level was around 5 throughout the day. The biggest problem I had was with drainage. I don't know if it was due to allergies or what, because I haven't read much on the interwebz about other people's problem with this, but it has been a problem with me. Between trying to blow my nose and get stuff out through my mouth, the drainage has been a problem. I slept on the couch again to try and keep this to a minimum. I said about 8 words all day.

Day Three
Friday was pretty much a replay of Thursday. I was beginning to feel VERY isolated. I cleaned out the fridge, washed some dishes, actually took a shower, and just tried to get myself active a little bit. It hurt to talk. I decided to sleep in my own bed upstairs that night. I kept my Oxycodone pill-taking to a minimum for various reasons. I didn't want to run out in case I REALLY needed them later, and I have a tendency to like substances that aren't good for you (like green bean casserole, porter beer, and jerk boys), so I wanted as little of that in my system as possible. However, it is important to note that even with the pain meds, it's STILL going to hurt. It never went away completely for me. The Lortab does give me a bit of a stomachache though -- not enough to warrant using the anti-nausea pills the doc prescribed me, but it's there. Today I made jello, ate a lot of popsicles, and ate some leftover green bean casserole. I ran out of mac and cheese. I tried some beef broth, but that burned, even at room temperature. I did not try that again.

Day Four
Saturday's weather forecast was pretty glorious, so I decided to suck it up and get OUT OF THE HOUSE. I woke up feeling pretty crummy, but powered through it, thanks to Lortab. I took the bus downtown, visited my friend at the Saturday market, bought some Cousin Jack's Pasties, and decided to get a smoothie and walk home. The doctor had explicity told me to not exert myself AT ALL, but I figured I lovely noon-time walk home in 75 degree weather would be ok. It was -- until I had to go up a steep hill. My throat, both the inside and outside, was throbbing by the time I got home (I stopped to get 3 boxes of Mac n Cheese), so I took an Oxycodone. Then I just sat outside reading and soaking up the sun. I ended up falling asleep. I felt better and less isolated. However, before my surgery I had anticipated my need for a non-talking social activity, so I asked 3 friends to come over and play Scrabble with me. All of them backed out. One had severe allergies (and in Eugene, it gets pretty bad), so I'm not pissed at her, but I was (am) pretty put off with my other friends. Anyway, I ended up just napping/reading/watching shows on my computer the rest of the evening.

Day Five
Sunday was almost a repeat of Saturday. I was feeling more pain each day though. I read outside for the first part of the day, then a friend invited me over for some BBQ. I optimistically headed over to eat the ribs he prepared, but I simply could not. It was good to spend time with someone, although I overdid the talking. By the time I got home, I was in a lot of pain, so I took some Lortab about an hour sooner than allowed. Then that night I doubled up on Lortab and Oxycodone. I woke up early the next morning and had to take more Lortab. I could blame the excessive talking, but the pain was beginning to be seemingly unbearable. I had planned to go to work Monday, and I was hellbent on following that plan. The pain started to move to my ears as well, like I had read about. It hurt to turn my head, and it felt like the weird, deep pain I had experienced many times before with my tonsils, just with more intensity and with longer lengths. The actual wounds themselves seemed to be preparing for the scabs to come off; they have a tight, burning feeling.

Day Six
Monday was not great, and actually it was probably the worst so far. As I said earlier, I had to take quite a bit of pain meds during the night. I woke up for work early, but then passed out cause of the meds, and ended up being late. It was okay though. I took an Oxy around 11 am and tried to eat, because we were going to a fire station for lunch (which I absolutely could not eat) and a tour (long story). I couldn't eat my mac and cheese, but I could do the Jello. Most of my coworkers are fairly quiet, and I just couldn't sit there with the firemen and not have a conversation going, so I talked WAY too much today. WAY too much. I'm paying for it. Once we finally got back at 4, I left the office, came home, took Lortab, and enjoyed a 4 hour nap. Then I woke up, went to get some Spaghettios and a cookie for dinner and took more Lortab before eating. The Spaghettios were a hit! I was worried they'd be too acidic, but I'm pretty sure at this point anything will burn. I took an Oxy before going to bed, but I woke up at midnight (3 hours later) still in pain, so I took some Lortab. That's something I've learned -- the Oxy doesn't REALLY help me with pain. It might keep the worst of it at bay, or relax my muscles, but the real painkiller is the Lortab.

We'll see how tomorrow is. Sorry for the long post and the rambling! Here's a short breakdown though:

1. The pain DOES gradually worsen, at least in my case. I'm just waiting for the scabs to slough off.
2. Stay hydrated.
3. For the love of God, don't talk. This has been the hardest part for me. It's not so much that I'm a nervous talker (okay, I am), but I am good at keeping social situations light and fun, and when I'm not able to do that I feel the weight of the world (dramatic much?). BUT DON'T TALK.
4. Keep track of your medication times.
5. Get plenty of rest.
6. Find reliable people to help you remain sane.
7. Burping hurts...like...a lot.
8. Don't try to gargle. Just don't.

More tomorrow or the next day...

random thoughts for the evening.

2010-03-29T22:16:00.000-07:00

Who do these cats think they are?

I'm moving. Again.

I should rap. Not only have I produced the infamous "mad rap libs" (too rated NC-17 for this venue), but I've got a great one in the works now. It goes like... "I got two mugs of bacon grease sittin' up in my fridge.... I'm 'bout to cook 'em up in some fat pork ribs." But...envision I mumbled that with a thick southern accent and with Li'l Wayne's inflection.

Why does Sirius XM play Bruce Springsteen on the 80s channel, when there is an E Street Channel?

I get way too verklempt when I watch The West Wing.

I also get way, way too excited when I find my cold medicine, which I just spent 10 minutes looking for.

I found out today that the hospital whose ER I graced with my presence last October has been billing an insurance company whose name is remarkably similar to my insurance company. So, for the last several months I have been declared ineligible for benefits by this company...who does not insure me. This is a mistake on the hospital's part. As such, I left them a rudely-toned voicemail today, and I do not feel bad about it.

Tonight as I started to cook dinner, I ate a new "Eat Right" snack bar. I choked on it, and had nothing in the fridge to drink (to clear my throat) except beer. So I opened. I drank that as I cut mushrooms, peppers, and onions for my spaghetti this week. Then I drank another as I boiled pasta and cooked ground turkey. Then, for giggles, I had a 3rd beer, halfway through which I realized...I had completely lost my appetite.

And now I'm blogging, semi-inebriated. awesome.

disaster?

2010-03-23T15:26:00.001-07:00

Remember that time something happened (or didn't happen...), and you thought it was this massively earth-crumbling event that was going to for sure make your life worse for the wear?

Perhaps now you've forgotten the details, looked back and laughed at the situation, or thank Buddha it happened --- even if, at the time, it seemed like the most awful thing ever.

Well, I'm reminding myself of this phenomenon right now, so I don't get bent out of shape about a very trivial issue.

In other news, Blitzen Trapper's new album is out in June. Take a sneak peek at one of the tracks, "Heaven and Earth" on SubPop's site. (It's in the "LISTEN" section on the page) I'm LOVING it. Eric Earley's voice is....great. :-)

Loss and Life

2010-01-27T09:04:00.000-08:00

In the time since I lasted posted, a few things have happened.

A) I went to Texas for a fabulous 10 days split between family/friends in Dallas and best good friend time in Austin with Sarah. While it was a whirlwind of a trip and left me pretty exhausted, I had a great time. There's something beyond comforting about being "home."

B) I celebrated my 26th birthday. Several times. I went to Portland with some girlfriends for a weekend of Blazers basketball and just hanging out being girls. It was a lot of fun :-). I got some pretty awesome gifts. A Blazers cap, some awesome Bath and Body Works stuff, a snuggie (tho that might've been a late Christmas present), a Brita water filter (love it), the Metric "Fantasies" CD, and a cast iron skillet is on the way. I can't wait to use it.

C) I've helped several OTHER friends celebrate their birthdays. There are a ton of birthdays in January, apparently. With all this celebrating, I've had a couple of drunken debacles, but all is well now. Luckily the other person involved is a really, really understanding person.

Probably the most notable event was the passing of my sweet Beagle, Luna. The whole thing has kind of thrown me for a loop. I got back from Texas on a Friday, and the following Saturday Luna and I spent the day at Elijah Bristow State Park, and then a friend came over that night to cook dinner and hang out.

At about midnight Luna was acting strange, and we kept an eye on her while we played Trivial Pursuit. It was pretty late (or early, depending on how you look) when I decided to call the emergency vet and tell them her symptoms. While I was on the phone, Luna was suddenly unable to use her back legs. So we immediately took her to the vet. Apparently a degenerated disc (a common problem in beagles) had slipped out of her vertebrae and into her spine, causing the sudden paralysis. I had several options: immediate surgery in Portland, leave her at the clinic for a couple of days while they medicate/monitor her, or take her home and medicate/monitor her. All of these options came with a pretty negative prognosis and warning that euthanasia was an imminent possibility. Surgery (a minimum of $5,000 with no guarantee of it being fixed) was out. Luna has separation anxiety and likes to be close to her mama.

So I brought her home, and we spent Sunday with each other. It was a pretty emotional day. Towards the end of the day, she had still not being able to relieve herself, which is something the vet had cautioned me about. So I took her back in, and it was then that I had to make the decision that it was time. While it was the most difficult decision I've ever made, I was comforted to know that she would not be in pain nor have to suffer the inability to run and play and be Luna. The following couple of weeks were pretty difficult, and I sunk pretty low a few times. Luckily, I've got a fantastic support group of family and friends. Also, I've recently started working out at the gym with a friend, and that helps immensely. It is so hard to sit at home without Luna, and I can't bring myself to walk through the neighborhood without her. So, the gym and working out is a great and beneficial distraction.

I definitely think I'm on the upswing as January comes to a close. I've done a lot of thinking about a lot of different things. Luna, life, goals, friendships, etc. I'm kinda counting on the Chinese New Year to be my new year. I feel like a real transition is coming on.

i've reached that point...

2009-12-20T23:03:00.001-08:00

where all the christmas cards I get are photo cards of my married friends and their children, whether the child be human or dog.

that's ok. i love seeing these photos. i love the idea of photo cards.

i just didn't realize i was to that point in life yet.

I <3 My Ducks

2009-12-03T10:57:00.001-08:00

civil war game tonight. I'm gonna get my game watching on at Rennie's, where my roommate works. He's sharing his 35% discount with me tonight, so $2 beers are now $1.30. Plus he's driving me to and fro. Holla. Here's a video that I *just* can't get enough of.

I smell rooossseeesss....

smartz

2009-12-02T22:41:00.000-08:00

I have (for tonight anyway) come to the conclusion that the internet, or rather my obsessive use of the internet, has made me dumber. I have vast amounts of information quite literally at my fingertips, and it's so easy to find that perfect sentence of information that answers any random question I might have. As opposed to finding a summation, paragraph, or essay that prods and pokes my brain to think about what the answer could be.

The internet also provides me with enormous opportunity to procrastinate doing things like reading books, talking with folks about ideas and thoughts, and sitting around thinking, which I used to do quite often. And now I still do, but my thoughts are monopolized with inane daydream scenarios or....what to tweet.

While I may KNOW more things, I honestly feel like my capability to think abstractly has diminished. Though -- I also feel this might be largely in part due to working an 8-5 job. I do think working 8-5 has also crippled my attention span. It was bound to happen.

But I love the internet for its endless bounty of musical exploration. Lately I've been into the New Moon soundtrack, The XX, Neon Indian, Hockey, and ...well as usual...Girl Talk.

And now back to reading Another Roadside Attraction by Tom Robbins, which has proven to be really thought provoking, even though I'm only 44 pages in.

Busy!

2009-10-15T11:06:00.000-07:00

I have been TERRIBLE about updating my blog. Admittedly I attribute this in part to the feeling that the wonderful things about Oregon I have loved are no longer a novelty to me, though I continue to enjoy them. Perhaps I should change the name/focus of the blog.

But truth be told, I have been busy. Work has been lively and productive, and I have had the opportunity to tackle new projects. We are gearing up for a huge trip in February to the 2010 Olympics in Vancouver. I will be accompanying 50 high school-aged youth and 8 adults, who will be serving as mentors/chaperones, for a week in Vancouver. It is definitely an exciting and adventurous prospect. The three Oregon-based mentors (myself and two of my friends) will be taking a quick trip to San Francisco in a couple of weeks to meet the youth and other mentors. Since we're all friends, we decided to make a weekend out of it and see a bit of San Fran and stay with one of the mentor's sister in Carmel-by-the-Sea.

I've also been busy outside of work with my book clubs, a Pilates class I recently started, volunteering at the KLCC radiothon, going to Duck games, and planning upcoming events! This weekend I'm hosting a few friends at my house for a Julia Child's cooking night, going to a Pumpkin Food Social at the UU Eugene church (all food will have pumpkin in it), and heading to Portland for a matinee of either Where the Wild Things Are or Paranormal Activity and going to a preseason Blazers game against the Nuggets. Tonight I hope to start an applique project for my friend's soon to be born baby. I also hope to make a pumpkin dish for the pot luck tomorrow. I'm debating between pumpkin ravioli and pumpkin muffins.

The fun doesn't end there! But you can see I've been pretty busy, and as a result I feel like I've neglected some of the simpler things I enjoy, like finding and purchasing/downloading music, writing, etc.

Ok, now that I've enjoyed a quick break from working, it's time to get BACK to work.

Moved!

2009-10-02T08:57:00.000-07:00

Well, I've moved again! Let's have a rundown of the places I have lived in the past year and a half, shall we?

I lived at my parents' house in Arlington, TX for a year and a half before moving to Oregon in May of 2008.

Once in Oregon, I subleased a room for two months, sharing the house with two law school students. This was definitely a time of adjustment, as I learned about Eugene and tried to make some friends.

For the month of August, I lived in a boring house on the boring side of town. The exciting part was that my roommate was kind of crazy! I GTFO as soon as I could.

From September 08 through Sept 11, 2009, I lived back in my old Eugene neighborhood (the Friendly Street Neighborhood) with Susan and her two dogs. A cute house (albeit in shambles), a roommate very similar to me, and VERY dog friendly. It was a good place to live, and I have lots of fond memories here.

My landlord decided to put the house up for sale, so I began looking for new places to live. It was unlikely that Susan and I would find a place that would accept our combined three dogs, so I looked for other options. I found a house in Springfield that was in my budget, would take Luna (without a deposit!), would provide me my OWN bathroom, and was a nice, clean house with a normal, responsible, easygoing and friendly roommate. I jumped on that opportunity!

So here Luna and I are, living in a new house...again. The biggest adjustment this time was the two cats that my current roommate has. But Luna and the cats seem to have chilled out a bit and are getting along wonderfully. I'm still able to get out and about in Eugene, though I really miss being able to walk to the organic food market by my old house. I also miss my old neighborhood, but this new one has an excellent walking/biking path right by my house. Luna loves it.

Hopefully I will get to stay here for awhile, though I know it's not permanent. Who knows where life will take me next?

math sux

2009-09-05T01:14:00.000-07:00

I just realized in the last post about three-year cycles, I went from 1995 to 1991. Did I mention that in 2000 (presumably an "off" year) I failed algebra? yawp.

I move next week. A lot of people are moving. Mostly....moving away. My favorite gas attendant is one of those people.

3

2009-08-19T16:40:00.000-07:00

Today I was thinking about which years in recent life have been my "best" or favorite years. Then I nodded and realized they occur every three years. (3 is inexplicably my favorite number)

2007 - My hair was doing amazing things this year. I also made some new and amazing friends whilst having a blast with my current friends.
2004 - I went to Costa Rica, made new and amazing friends, loved my job, did well in school, learned a LOT, and went to Bonnarooooo.
2001 - a LOT of new experiences and realizations came to me this year.
1998 - again with the great hair. Just happy times all around.
1995 - I learned the difference between respecting authority and respecting those who deserve respect.
1991 - completed 1st grade, where I had the most amazing teacher, Ms. Bobbie Gournay.

I can't get much earlier than that. So basically it seems like 2010 is going to rock. What could possibly happen?

I could (will!) pay off my credit card debt.
Dallas Mavericks will win the championship.
I could make even more awesome new friends.
Will my hair finally come through and do great things once again?

Having thought about this, I'm looking forward to 26. I think 24 and 25 have been important and valuable transition years. Bring on the awesomeness!

line in the sand

2009-08-12T19:36:00.000-07:00

I remember when I was a Senior in high school, I started becoming interested in politics. On one of the first days of my Government class, my teacher said for us all to stand in the middle of the classroom. Then she said "If you believe abortion should be illegal, go stand on the right side of the classroom. If you believe abortion should be legal, go stand on the left side." I watched, dumbfounded, as my friends scurried to their respective sides of the classroom. My mouth hung open, slightly confused at what was going on. Was I really going to have to think about this and make a decision? Right then? Right there? Not only was I going to have to decide, but I was going to have to let everyone know what my decision was.

Ms. Howard rescued me and said "If you don't care or haven't quite made up your mind, stand in the middle." So I went to the middle. I hadn't quite decided how I felt about the very delicate subject of abortion. At this point in my life, I didn't see it as a black or white subject. But then she said, "If you believe gays and lesbians should have equal rights as heterosexuals, stand on the left side of the room. If you don't think that, if you think they should not be able to be married or adopt children, stand on the right side of the room."

There was no ambivalence or wavering for me on this topic. My best friend, a gay guy, was in that room with me. My former best friends, extremely conservative people, were also in that room. These were people who told me my gay guy friends were going to hell. At that moment there was only one place I belonged -- standing next to my friend as he stood for his basic human rights. I wasn't embarrassed. I wasn't anything but proud to be his friend. I could see their eyes uncomfortably shift, as they realized what just happened. They were facing a man whose basic rights they thought should be denied. They were facing a friend with whom bonds had been broken because of ideological beliefs.

The line had been drawn.

How do we cross that line? How do we meet in the middle, and, rather than compromising, come to an understanding of each other?

sunday funday

2009-08-09T19:33:00.000-07:00

I woke up this morning after having slept 9.5 hours! I was completely exhausted after spending Saturday happily helping Jasmine and Jeremy celebrate their wedding. The benadryl pills I took for allergies really knocked me out.

I woke up undecided on how to spend the day. One part of me wanted to lounge around the house and watch shows on my laptop. Another part of me wanted to really take advantage of the day. So I got up and decided to visit the Unitarian Universalist Church of Eugene for the second time. I was considering going hiking at Elijah Bristow State Park after. I am SO glad I went to church. The pastor's sermon was about finding our "one square inch of silence." His message was inspired by this project. The project basically involves going out into nature and hearing ONLY sounds of nature. The man working on the project considers silent spots in nature an endangered species. The pastor went on to discuss how our own mind is often one of those "endangered" spots, in that it is rarely silent. This motivated me to DEFINITELY go out to the state park with Luna.

What a great walk we had. It was about 2.5 hours, crisscrossing creeks and walking alongside the great Willamette River. We got in for a little bit to cool off. Luna was extra curious about a snake that crossed our path, and she stared down a couple of ducks in a secluded pond area. She's doing so wonderfully off leash now. I can say "Luna, stop and sit," and she sure will stop and sit. Here are some pictures below! (my camera is broken, so all i have is my phone. sorry for the low quality.)

Then I came home to continue reading Eat, Pray, Love, where I am incidentally at the part where the author discusses quieting her mind. How perfect!

Now here I am, watching Antiques Roadshow in Houston, sipping on Raspberry Cider after eating a refreshing salad (and a couple of sugar-free popsicles, of course). What a lovely Sunday. :-)

like!

2009-08-09T19:22:00.000-07:00

to counterbalance my last, mostly negative, blog i would like to list a few things i'm currently loving.

1. Popsicles. specifically the sugar-free kind.
2. Avatar: The Last Airbender. it's a nickelodeon cartoon that my buddy set me on. i love it, because it talks about the yin and yang of good and evil, as well as how to overcome habit for what you really need to be doing.
3. blackberries growing EVERYwhere. get ready for some pies, cobblers, and jam! i'm totally gonna make some jam this year. and listen to jam band music while i do it.
4. the incense and its holder that jasmine got me as a thank-you gift for doing music at her wedding and reception (which i will blog about once pictures are available!).
5. wyder's raspberry cider.
6. PBS. 'nuff said.
7. sweet, sweet summertime!
8. Eat, Pray, Love - an amazing book for women (or men!)
9. benadryl, to counteract the sweet, sweet summertime allergies

tired.

2009-08-03T20:36:00.000-07:00

i am copying my friend's post "some things i am tired of." while i generally try to stay on the positive side of the street, there are things my i am tired of dealing with lately.

1. critters. each night there is a spider in my bed. each day there are ants in the house.
2. daily rememberances that in just a few short months, it will be dark at 5 and raining all the time.
3. hearing about how cash for clunkers sucks.
4. people who make comments on facebook with their own, seemingly special, anecdotes. like if i were to post, "today i tripped and fell." then someone responded with "oh that happened to me five years ago, and it was obviously a memorable event." sometimes i even do this. but really, why do people have to be SO narcissistic?
5. my computer not playing flash properly. no matter what updates i install.
6. not having a bff with whom i can go camping at the drop of a hat.
7. not being able to meditate. see video A below.
8. people talking on cellphones (or even worse, blueteeth) in public places. see video B below.

the next post will be "things i especially like right now"

VIDEO A:

VIDEO B:

brewfest

2009-07-26T23:16:00.001-07:00

I am back from Portland and beer-soaked weekend of fun. I signed up to volunteer at the festival, so I was able to go the day before to actually drink some brews for free. For volunteering I got a mug, 8 tokens, and a volunteer shirt! Super cool. It was extremely hot, and we walked the 2+ miles to the actual fest. So by the time I got there, I was super thirsty for some beer. It was great; I loved it. I can't wait to go back next year! Then today I worked in the tokens tent, selling tokens to thirsty folks. I was a little worried about that, what with my dyscalculia and counting the tokens, but it was fine. We ran out of mugs on Saturday, so there were no "packages" (1 mug and 4 tokens for $10). Instead it was just a free cup and each token cost $1. People had a really hard time comprehending that.

There was live music, tasty-smelling food (I didn't eat any), and of course...awesome beer! I wish I could remember everything I tried!! I did try the ginger hibiscus beer, and I have finally come to the decision that I don't like gingery things. Which is sad, because I love the word.

I am super tired! Something is really frakking with my allergies today. So far I'm two benadryl and one cetirizine in, and it looks like there will be no hope to stop sneezing.

I am going to watch some Avatar: The Last Airbender now!

some really pretty stargazer lilies in someone's garden on the way back from brewfest

A view of Portland and one of its water source reservoirs on Mt. Tabor
Hibiscus Ginger beer

A view of the brewfest from the burnside bridge

grr.

2009-07-22T00:29:00.000-07:00

I had a highly productive day. Work was busy, and I felt focused. After work I cleaned the house up and did dishes, walked the dog for awhile, stopped by the neighborhood picnic at a local park, and played frisbee with the dogs. Then I read Harry Potter and The Half Blood Prince for awhile outside. I was tired and ready to watch the most recent episode of Weeds (I was counting on falling asleep in the middle of it) and dream away.

However I checked Facebook. A debate was brewing on a friend's page regarding universal healthcare. The person who held the opposite view made several wide generalizations, which I refuted in a not-so-coherent series of sentences. No, they didn't have flow. That wasn't my intention. He then unleashed an essay of further ridiculousness, to which I had no choice but to respond. Basically it turned into a pissing contest. This is why I don't truly argue politics or religion anymore. You're NOT going to change my mind, and chances are I'm not going to change your mind. That's why we vote for our representation.

I'm so beyond frustrated right now, I can't even think straight. I'm frustrated because in the past few days/weeks, I have seen more systematic racism and sexism than I'd like to ever see in my lifetime. I'm tired of the WASPs in the senate constantly referring to Judge Sotomayor's "latina passion." What the hell does that have to do with anything? If for no other reason, given her skills and qualifications, she should be appointed solely to represent an important and vast portion of American society. Also, people still refuse to admit that systematic racism exists in America. It's almost like the logic is "well we let them drink out of the same fountains and attend the same schools, so they should have caught up by now." Well that logic is so faulted. And frankly it covers up what I think most real sentiments are.

This isn't about being "liberal" or "conservative." This is about recognizing equals rights, abilities, and basic liberties among ALL people. And until that happens, our society cannot properly function.

Getting married soon?

2009-07-10T08:59:00.001-07:00

I'm at the age where it seems like everyone and their grandma is getting married. I'm okay with that! I LOVE weddings (especially the ones with open bars and plenty of single guys). A good friend of mine is getting married this summer, and she had a creative idea for the wedding favors. She has made drink coasters with the Chinese symbol for love on them. It's very "her," and goes well with the Chinese theme of the wedding.

However, today, as I was making a memorial gift online at http://www.aspca.org/, I noticed the option for "Wedding Favors" on the donation page. Curious, I clicked on it not sure what to expect. Apparently, you can make a blanket donation to the ASPCA, and they will send you notecards for you to place on your guests' chairs, chapel pews, or in the wedding program. What a GREAT IDEA! I think this is the best idea I've heard all year. Wedding favors are expensive, and if you have a couple hundred guests, the cost can add up! Why not just save yourself the trouble, and SAVE animals while you're at it?

So I guess I can add this to my list of reasons why I want to get married and have a wedding (the list currently contains: honeymoon, party, a chance to force people to listen to a music playlist I've created without interruption, and of course the promise of eternal ~~damnation~~ love).

excitement

2009-07-01T13:51:00.000-07:00

I'm having a really hard time focusing at work right now. Why?

A) UPS guy just came. I actually managed to sputter out a conversation. But, probably from the rush of excitement, my asthma is acting up. I love him...like a lot. He is mellow and actually takes time to talk (or pet Luna all up on him when she was here). Plus he's incredibly hot.

B) 4th of July weekend. Need I say more? It's my favorite holiday for sure. My friend Candice is in town, and a group of us are camping at Crater Lake. It should be a BLAST! The weekend is kicking off tomorrow at Jasmine's for some good times and fireworks.

Ok, between UPS guy and 4th of July I think I have substantial cause for not being able to focus.

My power cord on my laptop died this weekend. After visiting Best Buy then calling Best Buy, it appears as though I have two free power cords (thanks warranty!) coming my way. UPS guy delivered one today :-).

I can already taste the tequila, ninkasi, forest air, and campfire. aaaahhhhhhh.

new post necessary

2009-06-22T22:11:00.000-07:00

My recent post (just prior to this) is getting on my nerves, so I feel compelled to create a new one! It includes several short recipes for food and products and a short rundown of recent happenings.

1. Sugar scrub - Lately I have become over concerned with the state of my face/skin. My entire life I have been remiss in maintaining a proper facial care regimen, never rinsing makeup off. I justify this because I don't use foundation, but apparently blush is bad for your pores too. And so is the dirt I gather when I walk Luna. So I have taken to properly taking care of my face. For the exfoliating part I made a sugar scrub. It has worked really well so far, and my skin feels awesome both immediately after and much later after I use it.
1/2 c olive oil
1 1/3 c pure cane sugar (although now, after I've used it for a week or so, I would suggest upping that to 1 3/4 cups)
essential oils (I used 10 drops of eucalyptus oil)
Vitamin E if you have it ( I didn't)

Mix this together and store it in an airtight container. I am using a sandwich tupperware container, because it's flat (easy to access the scrub and clean later on), and I keep it in the shower. But be careful not to let any water get in, because it can grow bacteria that way. I've used it every other day or so. The site I read said to throw it out after 2 months. But I have a feeling I'll be making a new batch by then anyway. Be careful not to exfoliate too hard like I did the first time! I found this great site about skin care: http://www.smartskincare.com/

I went to my boss's 60th birthday bash on Saturday evening. Amongst the food spread were slices of wraps, which I've never had. I liked them so much, I decided to make one.
large wrap tortilla (I used spinach)
1 grilled thinly sliced chicken breast, seasoned with garlic and lemon pepper
grilled slices of bell pepper
1 large romaine lettuce leaf
a slice of provolone cheese
a stalk of green onion
chipotle ranch dressing
I really enjoyed this combination of ingredients. Have y'all tried any other set of ingredients that you liked? Please share if you have!

A new friend has rejuvenated my desire to write fiction (or semi autobiographical "fiction"), and I'm happy about that. Along that same vein, I submitted a writing piece for evaluation to a new site in Eugene that is accepting applications for writers. Basically it's directed toward finding new things to do in the city. I hope that works out, but if not, I can still write, right? :-)

Father's day has come and gone. Dad's birthday is coming up. It has actually been easier than last year was. So that's good, right?

Tomorrow is my one-year anniversary at work. I have started watching Mad Men, and I really enjoy it. It's not Battlestar Galactica though.

manifest destiny

2009-06-15T11:28:00.000-07:00

While I abhor the idea of the American "manifest destiny," wherein the US was divinely ordained to annex all North American lands, I like the idea of manifesting your own destiny.

Right now I am jamming to the song "I Gotta Feeling" by the Black Eyed Peas, and I like the general idea of the lyrics "I gotta feeling that tonight's gonna be a good night."

Yes, sometimes things happen that can bring things in your life down, and certainly we don't anticipate all the curve balls that come our way. But we can choose how to swing at those curve balls, and good form and strength can equal a homerun (laaammme baseball reference!).

One of my favorite television characters, George Costanza, decides one day to do the EXACT OPPOSITE of his normal actions. It works for him. I encourage you to approach a situation differently than you might on a normal day. You might be surprised how it works out for you.

Found

2009-06-14T09:23:00.000-07:00

I spent this past New Year's Eve with some of my favorite people that I rarely get to see. Sarah, Rachel, and I were all roommates in a tiny apartment our junior year of college. The one unchanging aspect us that we have in common is that we all LOVE to read. Rachel works at Half Price Books, and I am so jealous of that fact. Her apartment was literally overflowing with new and gently-used books, and in her usual generosity, she offered us some. I selected Found II.

Found II (and it's predecessor, Found) is a compilation of notes, drawings, etc. that people across the world have found in random places, found interesting for some reason or another, and submitted to the two brothers who compile the books. It's GREAT book to have around when you have company, when you are bored and want to see insight into humanity, or...well anytime.

The brothers are currently rounding off a US tour, and last night they stopped by Sam Bond's Garage in Eugene! I went with a friend and ended up running into some other friends. They had people with them who like and are watching Battlestar Galactica, so that was very exciting for me. The show was GREAT, and I laughed a lot. They read some of their favorite "found" items, and one of the brothers played some songs he wrote about the notes. The songs were really, really good, and one of them almost made me cry. I am sad for my Texas friends if they missed these dudes when they came through, but hopefully they'll do another tour at some point. All in all, it was a great evening.

And now I am going to sit outside, eat watermelon, and read. Perhaps I'll watch Game 5 later, but I am feeling undecidedly hopeful about the outcome.

honking

2009-06-05T09:50:00.000-07:00

You know those really annoying car alarms that honk? I've got one.

And yet, everytime I hear one all I can think is "dude. someone needs to tend to their frakking car."

I never pause to think someone could be burglaring my car of precious cds, red bull cans, and other refuse in there.

I'm listening to Regina Spektor and feeling oddly blue despite the fact that it's Friday and summertime. Maybe somber is a better word.

mid-week update

2009-06-04T09:16:00.001-07:00

As you can tell, blogging has kind of gone to the wayside for me. But here's a quick update on my life:

The Trailblazers event was a fun, albeit alcohol-soaked evening. While no current players were there, some Blazer alumni were there. I ordered my vodka tonic while my shoulder rubbed against Jerome Kersey's elbow. I took $40 for gambling, but I immediately became bored upon entering the casino, so I opted to spend the majority of that on....vodka! Some things never change.

I finally set up my hammock, and I am SO GLAD I did. We've had thunderstorms the past two nights, so after I walk Luna, I have just laid in the hammock listening to the thunder and waiting on the storm.

I had an awesomely delightful beer last night. Buffalo Bill's Brewery (loved by me for their Pumpkin Ale) has released their seasonal Orange Blossom Cream Ale.

Sarah leaves Peru today! I'm very excited to have her back in the US where we can talk on the phone a lot more :-) I can't wait to hear about more details from her trip.

Last night I made the most awesome hamburger I've ever had. I used meat from Knee-Deep Cattle Company, which specializes in free-range and certified humane meat products. I piled on the lettuce, tomatoes, and a few onions. SO good. I will probably make another tonight while I watch the....

NBA FINALS!

I am going for the Orlando Magic for two reasons. I LOVE Dwight Howard, and someone needs to stick it to the Lakers.

Missing

2009-05-29T08:40:00.001-07:00

It's not even 9 a.m., and I've already spent 30 minutes today looking for various items.

a) my black, open-toed, bowtie heels
b) my copy of Animal Collective's Merriweather Post Pavilion CD
c) my bottle of Cetirizine

So I've settled on my green heels, Counting Crows Recovering the Satellites, and I am sneezing.

Tonight I'm going to Rip City Live, an appreciation event for Portland Trailblazers courtside and suite season ticket holders. No, I'm not a season ticket holder. My boss is, and he let me have his invitation. I bought a cocktail dress last night. I even bought earrings and a bracelet. It should be a good time; it's at Spirit Mountain Casino.

Ok, time to get to work!

visit

2009-05-11T16:04:00.001-07:00

I am awesome at complaining and feeling sorry for myself when I'm sick! That last post was a bit ridiculous.

I just got back from dropping Kim off at PDX. We had a fantabulous time!! Her trip here included:
A day in the Goondocks
Tillamook Cheese Factory
80s dance party in the car
lots of coughing (on my part. lots of cringing on her part. I hope she doesn't get sick.)
Eugene Saturday Market
My FIRST venture on the public transportation system of Eugene
Chicken Saute for the Sick Soul
Perugino
Friendly St. Market
Twilight (of course)
Max's
a hangover (on her part)
Off the Waffle
Sunday night TV
Powell's bookstore (I bought an autographed first edition of Pygmy, Palahniuk's new release!)
Blue Moose Cafe (my new favorite restaurant in Portland)

All in all, it was a great visit! I am so pleased she came! Next summer I will head to Minneapolis.

Now after being down sick and out for fun from work, I am definitely ready to get back.

it had to be this weekend

2009-05-06T20:29:00.000-07:00

just complaining.

My good friend Kim comes to visit tomorrow. She is my first visitor in Oregon. I have a super-fun itinerary planned.

I am sick with a fever.
On the plus side, the only thing I don't mind eating is soup -- my favorite food.

I hope DayQuil and Red Bull will help make the fun weekend successful. I'm mostly just concerned about getting her sick. She's a go getter.

But, as a friend would probably point out, I still have a roof over my head and a spoon with which to sip my soup. And the sickness can never take alliteration away from me. I shouldn't complain.

Oh, and I have commenced watching Season 1 of Battlestar Galactica.

30 seconds to Mars...

aw, shucks

2009-05-03T21:22:00.000-07:00

This past Friday Thao and the Get Down Stay Down played at a really great venue (Mississippi Studios). The show opener was Sister Suvi, which was a surprising trio of different vocals. I gotta say...I really liked them. I have loved Thao's music for awhile now, and I was really looking forward to the show. The performance was GREAT. There is something almost magical about hearing music you have long loved being played live. However, her ability to banter comfortably and genuinely with the crowd is not so great. That didn't really interfere with my ability to rock out and enjoy the music, but if I have to give my honest opinion of the live concert, that has to play a role. I got the "too cool for school" vibe from her.

The next day I finally went to VooDoo donut and had the maple bacon bar. It was an odd combination of sweet and salty, and one is certainly enough. Then I went to IKEA, where I spent a little bit too much money and got some domestically exciting things. After that I met up with some friends, and we ate a positively delicious lunch at a really cute vegetarian place called "Blue Moose Cafe" in the Cully neighborhood. BEST vegetable soup I've ever had.

Today I watched a devastating loss by the Mavs against the Nuggets while I assembled my new chest of drawers. I don't care to elaborate on that.

This week: KIM COMES TO VISIT!!

shameful admission

2009-04-25T22:04:00.001-07:00

Remember that time I went on a blogrant about how ridiculous Twitter is?

http://twitter.com/brookish3

strawberries in the summertime

2009-04-23T07:15:00.000-07:00

I wish polygamy were legal. Because then I could marry both Eric Earley AND Robin Pecknold, lead singers of Blitzen Trapper and Fleet Foxes, respectively. I had the pleasure of attending their concert last week at The McDonald Theater here in Eugene, and it was amazing. I wasn't sure what to expect, as I've always envisioned their music to be best performed on a wildflower-frocked meadow in the foothills of the Cascades or Blue Ridge Mountains, while I sit on a porchswing of a log cabin sipping a hearty beer. But my perch on the theater's balcony was perfect as I watched these bands perform some of my favorite songs through a shroud of fog.

Blitzen Trapper quickly opened the dynamic show with a high-energy rendition of "Sleepytime in the Western World," and most of the songs which followed were from their most recent album Furr. The group was filled with energy, and during the title track Furr, they were joined by the members of Fleet Foxes, which was a treat for sure. All the same, I would've liked to just hear their version of it. Despite my beer spilling into my lap early on in the show, I was very content. My favorite part of their set was when Eric Earley found himself alone on stage for "Not Your Lover," which moved me to tears. All in all their set was rocking. I wanted to get up and dance. I especially liked when, during "Black River Killer," Eric did a special hand movement when he said "oregon."

Fleet Foxes put on an equally delightful, albeit different, showcase. Comfortably bantering with the crowd, they ended up discussing tea, which of course eventually led to a humorous joke about Fleet Foxes being strict constitutionalists who like to teabag. Two of my favorite songs, "White Winter Hymnal" and "Ragged Wood" were paired so perfectly that it took my breath away for a second. While I was less inclined to dance to their music, I did find myself lost in the abyss of whimsical melodies and beats. The highlight of their set was the solo performances by Robin Pecknold, particularly "Oliver James" and "Tiger Mountain Peasant Song." I have embedded a video of second one below.

All in all, the concert lived up to every hope and dream I had. Maybe someday I'll get to see both bands outside of a log cabin in foothills. But I'll settle for seeing Blitzen Trapper at the Pickathon Music Festival this summer at the Pendarvis Farm outside of Portland. Who's in?

Acupuncture

2009-04-22T18:17:00.000-07:00

For awhile now I've had a stinging pain to the right of my coccyx. Everytime I walked uphill or hiked around, it would start hurting really bad. Well, I finally decided to give acupuncture a try, and I am SO GLAD I did. I've been twice now. The first time was about an hour and a half, because I had to talk with the acupuncturist and let her know what all was going on. The acupuncture didn't really hurt at all. I still had pain for a few days, then on the day of my next appointment, the pain was gone. I went to my next appt, and the pain is still gone! This is very exciting, because previously the pain was a permanent (alliteration!) fixture.

Ok..time to get ready for the Fleet Foxes and Blitzen Trapper concert. I'm SO excited!!

club meeting

2009-04-15T21:55:00.001-07:00

I had my biannual meeting of Procrastinators Anonymous tonight. We clustered around the mail slot at the post office at 5:30 pm (when they stopped accepting tax mail for today's postmark) excitedly sliding the product of several tedious months of thinking and not doing. We exchanged knowing glances. No introductions were necessary. "Hi, my name is Brooke, and I'm a procrastinator." I did my federal taxes this morning, and then I did my state taxes during my lunch break. I did them both wrong the first time. But they're done.

This "tea party" business is ridiculous. Besides the obvious reasons, I don't like it because it lacks creativity. I think it'd be better if everyone just took their adjustable-rate mortgage contracts and set them aflame. If we're going to regress, then let's tar and feather Madoff.

I bought some super cool plants yesterday at Living Art Botanicals. When I find my camera, I shall post some pictures. I'm training Luna to touch my finger with her nose. She's obsessed with the clicker. She nudges the tip of my finger then frantically searches for the source of the click. It's adorable. When I find my camera, I shall post a video. Speaking of videos, I'm continuing my "my so-called life" marathon when I finish this blogpost.

I have two new experiences coming up: serving someone lawsuit papers and getting acupuncture.

and now i leave you with one of the five commercials i actually like:

I have goosebumps.

concerts

2009-04-13T00:34:00.000-07:00

2 upcoming concerts im thoroughly pleased about:

fleet foxes and blitzentrapper at the mcdonald theater here in eugene

thao nguyen and the get down stay down in portland

i hope to catch molasses a couple more times at sam bonds garage.
I know what you're thinking. The beard is irrelevant. Their music is awesome.

Fabulous Spring Weekend!

2009-04-12T18:35:00.000-07:00

Kicking off on Friday with craft/girl's night at Jasmine's, the weekend turned out to be great. Then on Saturday she and I took Luna and one of her dogs on a walk in philber tree orchard. Then we ate at Outback and saw Hotel for Dogs, which turned out to be a GREAT movie, inducing both tears and laughter.

Today was great as well. I started the day with a nice walk with Luna to the dog park, where we discovered some really cute trails. The morning air smelled very springy and the temperature was perfect. Then I went to the Latitude 10 Cafe in the Friendly St. Market, where I enjoyed a tasty cappucino, a pair of pear pancakes, and more reading of the current book, The Losers. The rest of the afternoon was devoted to more clearing out of the garden plot, and I'd say I'm about 75% done clearing that out. That's about on schedule, since I can't plant anything before April 26th anyway. Our front yard is looking really nice. I came inside just before the rain started, so that was perfect timing. I think tonight I'll make a yummy asparagus salad.

My friend Kim is coming to visit in a few weeks, and I am SO excited. I've already got the itinerary fairly planned out, and I can't wait to share all of the great things I love about Oregon with one my good friends. Hopefully next summer I can head to Minneapolis to visit Kim and Liz and see their new house!

I hope all of you had a good Passover, Easter and/or Zombie day. Also, I really, really hope we get high speed rails across the US!!

"Dissent is the highest form of patriotism."

2009-04-10T10:41:00.001-07:00

....and so is good beer.

I just learned of this beer. Dissident from Deschutes Brewery has become my holy grail. It's probably not THAT hard to find, but I'm definitely going to be stopping by the Bier Stein this weekend to see if they have it.

Check out a brewview and some links to other reviews here.

Oh Deschutes, when will I make it up to Bend for a tour?

as the fog clears

2009-04-08T21:48:00.000-07:00

I have just emerged from a dense haze of pain and emotion. Had it not been for luna, quantum leap, marionberrry cobbler, and copious amounts of midol and ibuprofen, I'm not sure I or those around me would have made it out alive. I've got to be proactive and resolve this issue. But maybe there's something about being in a constant state of agonizing pain and doped up on chemicals that appeals to me.

I lost my phone yesterday. Tonight when I was taking out the trash I noticed it on the handrail of my porch. I don't know if I accidentally left it there overnight, if someone returned it, or what. Alls I know is it's acting up. Quien sabe? But... I do know that I felt great not having it. I felt free from the tethers of social convenience. I felt free from the compulsions of a connected world. I felt free. And already, as I am unable to type a coherent text due to its electrical malfunctions, I am plotting to buy a new phone. Maybe I won't. Perhaps I shall revert back to morse code...or even better smoke signals.

I am taking the Knowledge Exam tomorrow to hopefully obtain my Oregon driver's license. I am actually a bit nervous, as I know many, many people who have failed multiple times. I should be studying. Did you know there is such a thing as "unmarked crosswalks?" Basically, it's a place where a crosswalk line could potentially be drawn, but just hasn't been. I thought it was bullshit, too. Also, in the event of a four-way intersection with no stop sign, the "through street" has the right of way. Isn't that fairly relative? I mean...which street is more important - Monroe or 23rd? It's hard to say. At any rate, I hope to be legal tomorrow. I've been driving without a license since I inadvertently threw mine in the trash in August, which is when I last cleaned out my car.

My ladies book club met tonight. I love my ladies book club. Several people couldn't make it, but the smaller group worked out just fine.

Go Rangers.

le sigh

2009-04-06T21:09:00.001-07:00

i really miss my dad.

green(ish) thumb

2009-03-28T16:49:00.000-07:00

I have a vivid imagination, which has a tendency to make me envision pretty ridiculous scenarios. So when the stock market started going down and jobs were hacked all over the country, I thought long and hard about how I could sustain without working -- just in case. The first and most obvious step was to have a garden for food (and Ted Nugent as a friend for some bow-hunted venison). I've always wanted to have a garden, having grown up with two green-thumbed parents. My dad was a pro at gardening, often taking pictures of the peppers and tomatoes compared to my softball, and he always shared the fruits of his labors with members of our church.

But I know next to nothing about gardening. If it weren't for Google, I'd be outside right now tossing seeds about my yard chanting some magic spell. But apparently, that's not how it works. So I headed to Territorial Seed Company last week and bought:
"Ring of Fire" Sunflowers - chosen for their name and appearance,
Bush Baby Hybrid Squash,- chosen because they squash grows small (won't have a bunch leftover to waste), but has a very high yield,
Copra Onions - chosen for their long storage capabilities and hardiness,
and Golden Star Hybrid Peppers - recommended.

I started by putting the pepper and onion seeds in a 6" pots with Territorial's seedling soil, and then I set them on my windowsill, where I have been periodically spraying them with water.

Today I went to Home Depot and bought a shovel, trowel, Morning Glory seeds, a trellis for those, and potting soil. I had a complete Amelia Bedelia moment when I asked the attendant if I could use potting soil in the ground. Her look of incredulosity answered my question. I'm a dumbass.

Since it was raining when I got home, I did a bunch of research on germinating seeds, etc. Good thing! Turns out the germinating soil for peppers needs to be warm, so I've put my heating pad under that. And I read that nicking and soaking Morning Glory seeds in Hydrogen Peroxide/Water solution helps them germinate. As I was messing with the seeds I've planted, I noticed the onions have already started to germinate! Victory so far on that front!! Yay! I'll wait until they're a little bit longer before I move them to the ground. I've got my sunflower seeds in a wet paper towel in a ziploc bag as well. I'm hoping for the best!

<-- The soaking morning glory seeds, onion seedlings and pepper seeds on the heating mat on my windowsill.

Well, I've got to get the house tidy for some friends coming over tonight. I've got a headache, and I'm sneezing a lot; I hope it's just allergies. And for those who are wondering, I won't be participating in the Lights Out tonight, unless my friends don't mind hanging out and gabbing in candlelight.

Luna is unamused by my attempts at gardening.

unsweet tweet

2009-03-25T21:40:00.002-07:00

slap bracelets.

Fad #1 of my life. In first grade I was elated when my sixth-grader "study buddy" mentor gave me one as part of my Christmas package. I was so cool, obsessively slapping my wrist with a band of metal. I liked the way it crinkled out. I was fascinated. But more than that, I was cool.

pogs.

Fad #2 of my life. My brother John had recently returned from his trip to Hawaii, and with him he brought back milk carton tops, which later became popularly known as pogs. My brother and I ruthlessly fought over slammers (he always got the cooler, thicker ones) and whose pog was whose. I swear Zack, the "blooming idiot" pog was MINE. This fad reminds me of the time our Beloved Beagle Spike wandered away from my dad's watch and came up to my elementary school, just while I happened to be on recess break. Spike impulsively ran up to one kid's pogs and messed them up with his snout. The kid kicked my dog, and I viciously returned the favor to him. Don't F*** with my beagle.

sanrio surprise

Fad #3 - I had this amazingly awesome, tricked out pencil case in elementary school from Sanrio Surprise. I could press little buttons, and the pencil compartment would pop out. It was super cool. I loved sanrio surprise so much, I bought my brother and sister their christmas presents from there that year. I have yet to live that down. Y'all are evil.

ribbons.

I'm probably skipping a few fads here, namely doc martens, but in 8th grade hair ribbons resurfaced as a cool thing for some inexplicable reason. My mom came home with a paper sack full of an array of ribbons. I felt like I had won the lottery.

I'm sure there are other fads I comfortably fell in line to follow. I like to think that I usually I actually enjoyed whatever item was being marketed. A couple of recent ones that come to mind are Twilight and ....well...blogging. However, having said this, I do not understand the purpose, or even desire, of Twitter.

I am infamous as an "oversharer." Over the years hundreds of unwitting victims have fallen prey to my outbursts of indiscretion. Facebook has made this all the easier. I can announce that I prefer my cereal without milk ( a new fad?) or that I have had four red bulls in one day. But even I am annoyed with my misuse of this function.

So why in the hell would I want to read some person's carefully scripted activity, which they are obviously doing to portray themselves in a certain light? I mean who puts what is really on their mind or what they're really doing? My friend did point out that you can follow famous people. My prompt reply was to ask if I can search for people. Sadly, I don't think any guys I would cyberstalk would actually use Twitter. Actually, I'm glad they don't.

I checked out the site. There's a convenient button for people like me: "Why?" Here are their reasons:

"Why? Because even basic updates are meaningful to family members, friends, or colleagues—especially when they’re timely." Ok, I will concede that my mom is probably the only individual in the universe who would care to know what I'm doing most times of the day. She's a mom. That's what moms DO. At work I often wonder what Luna is doing. I usually suspect she is dreaming of chasing bunnies.

"Eating soup? Research shows that moms want to know." wtf? Again, my mom is the only person who cares what I eat for lunch. Besides my dogs, who want to know if they can have some too.

"Running late to a meeting? Your co–workers might find that useful." "Hey guys! I'm so busy checking out Larry David's tweets, I realized I'm about 10 minutes late to the meeting. Go ahead and start without me. Muah!" I'm sure that would go over really well. In the world where email and text communication makes bad news so much easier to break, Twitter is now the way to let your coworkers know you don't care enough about their time to try and not waste it. Hey, I'm the first to tell you I prefer text/email over phone call/face to face interactions, but this is a new low.

"Partying? Your friends may want to join you." Chances are if I want you at my party, you have been invited. If you have not been invited, you either live in a different town or I don't want you drinking my Ninkasi.

Are these reasons really the best they can do? I was looking for reasons like "Now you can notify all of your past sexual partners of your newly discovered STD. Convenient AND easy -- like you!" or even "Getting a divorce? Use this site to avoid awkward stop and chats with acquaintances and distant friends who might ask where your jerk of a spouse is." Heck, even "Tell all your recently laid-off friends about your great new promotion you got...at the expense of their jobs!" would be permissable. But the reasons they've listed are less than intriguing.

I hope to maintain my stronghold against Twitter. I'm considering just keeping a daily word document of the random crap that spews about in my brain and then emailing it to one lucky recipient each day.

Spring Bliss

2009-03-20T10:45:00.000-07:00

10 Reasons why this weekend will be good:

10. Green Lakes Organic Ale
9. Wine
8. Playing with a bunny tonight whilst chatting with friends and listening to good music.
7. HAIRCUT tomorrow
6. Gardening
5. sour cream chicken enchiladas and some new texmex side dish, and sharing it with friends
4. Che at the Bijou for 5 hours on Sunday
3. Twilight is out on DVD
2. Only a 40% chance of rain tomorrow

1. It's FINALLY SPRING!

Life has been good lately.

Weekend Update

2009-03-08T22:51:00.000-07:00

The past couple of weeks have been pretty busy and fun filled. Lots of music downloading (that's full of fun for me), music shows, Blazers games, movie going, and good times hanging out.

Some of the new favorite music that I just love and can't put down is (check out the playlist below):
Thao Nguyen and the Get Down Stay Down - We Brave Beestings and All
Empire of the Sun - Walking on a Dream
Franz Ferdinand - Tonight
Yeah Yeah Yeahs - It's Blitz!
M. Ward - Hold Time

Let's not forget the massive win of the Blazers over the Spurs last Sunday night. It was an awesome game, and I had a great time with a random Austin College guy living in Portland. He's going with me to the Mavs game this Wednesday. I cannot express my excitement about this game.

I also went to a pretty cool concert on Thursday night. The group was Sound Tribe Sector 9, and they put on an amazing show.

I also saw a couple of movies. I saw the Watchmen on Saturday after a great breakfast at Keystone Cafe with Christy. Today I saw Waltz with Bashir. This is a very sobering film about the Israeli invasion of Lebanon in 1982. An Israeli soldier has effectively forgotten (or blocked) his memories of the war, particularly the massacre of Palestinian civilians by the Phalangist group. This film depicts him rebuilding his memory through meeting up with former soldiers with whom he fought.

all in animation. brilliantly done.

Today before the film, I was relaxing the in Perugino coffee shop enjoying a very weak raspberry italian soda and reading a book for my club (Snowflower and the Secret Fan --great so far) when it started snowing. It had snowed briefly earlier today while at the house, but now it was coming down hard and fast in huge flakes. Will Winter ever end?

And now that I've stuffed this blogpost as full as possible, I will depart to read more of my book.

Entrepreneurship at its MOST Fashionable

2009-03-04T21:05:00.000-08:00

My sister definitely got the visual/creative gene in the family. If I have a question about how something will look, she's definitely the go-to person. If you pair that trait with the inability to sit around with your teeth in your mouth and the want to create things.... you get..

My sister Ruth has started a dotcom! CRC Designs is her creative outlet and attempt to beautify everyone's world. Whether you want a frame to match your decor or celebrate your alma mater, she's got it. If you have a cute kid whose hair needs a special touch, she can make the perfect "clippie." After putting a lot of hard work into her website and an equal amount of time into creating special, custom frames and hair clips, Ruth has created an extensive collection of items sure to please just about anyone.

Her special knack for what people will like is uncanny, she sent me a very cool "Brookish" frame. I have it at work (seems to be where I spend most of my time) on my windowsill. It's my Spring on the many cold, gray days we have up here. I keep forgetting to take my camera and snap a photo of it, so I've used a picture of it from her site. I've ordered three frames from her, and I can't wait to see how they will turn out. I'm confident she'll create something much cooler than I envision (I know for a fact she will...I told her my idea for one, she told me her's and all of a sudden my idea looked like a landmine at the dogpark).

So check her out at www.CRCdesigns.net!

my spring frame.

march 2nd

2009-03-02T00:03:00.001-08:00

you are missed. every day and in every way.

going 180: happy texas independence day

Grab Winter by the Balls

2009-02-25T18:19:00.000-08:00

** fore note: a little beagle is laying her little head on my laptop, and it's adorable.

I have, up to this point, remained fairly optimistic about this rainy Winter. Everyone warned me. Everyone skeptically smirked as I gabbed about moving to Oregon. My response was always "I lived in Houston for six months. I can deal with near-hurricane rainstorms, so I'm *sure* I can handle some drizzle."

ha.

My good friend Candice told me (this summer, when it was beyond gorgeous everyday) just to stay positive. I'm finding that more and more difficult to do. I have been wired to expect a few sunny, warm days come February. Yes, it might snow a week after being 80 degrees, but by damn, there will be heat and sun. I have patiently waited, and I am now impatiently despairing. Oftentimes this despair strikes me in the form of Restless Leg Syndrome (a farce of a medical condition as far as I'm concerned -- go outside and play) as I gaze out my gray window and envision myself frolicking through allergen-free fields. I stopped putting mousse in my hair 4 months ago. And I'm beyond tired of wiping the dogs' muddy paws. and then mopping anyway.

Terrifyingly, this year we've gotten 70% less rain than other years. Seriously? But I have never liked Winter. It has nothing to offer me. Well that has to change. I'm not gonna go have a talk with God and ask God to change the course of seasons, so I can go lake swimming in January. I'm going to take up Winter hobbies -- other than reading the Twilight series in less than two weeks.

So far snowboarding is all I can think of. And that's gonna have to require some serious mind bending to get over my fear of sliding down a mountain.

** Having typed all of this out, I feel much better and have regained some optimism.

Small Town Woes

2009-02-22T11:12:00.001-08:00

In Texas I often saw people I knew. Whether it was at a huge event, such as Austin City Limits Music Festival, or a smaller venue like the Granada Theatre, it seemed as if there was someone I knew personally, or at the very least recognized from the circus of characters in my life.

Sometimes this was good, other times this was bad. When I'd be out on the town feeling social and bubbly with perfect hair and charm, it was a good thing. When I was forced to the grocery store to pick up something really quick, and my hair was disheveled, and I was cranky, this was a bad thing. But it was something I learned to expect.

I don't know why I thought Eugene would be different. I don't know why I thought I could maintain a level anonymity here for longer than a year. The town is half the size of Arlington, and it hasn't fallen victim to the urban crawl yet, so really all of the places to go are IN Eugene.

It has started to happen. At concerts, at Trader Joe's, at bars, at events at the Fairgrounds. I'm constantly seeing people I know, have met, or have dealt with in some capacity, whether they helped me at the post office or sold me a 6 pack of black butte. In one night I saw a guy at the Bier Stein and then again at McMenamins. He naturally asked if I was following him. I said yes.

Despite all of my complaints, I do like this familiarity. This sense of community created when constantly seeing people you know. It makes me feel safe, as though I've become part of their daily pattern of people as well.

In other news, my plans for a walk to the dog park are foibled by the rain. I guess I'll do some pilates and read my upcoming book club selections, which are Island by Aldous Huxley and Snow Flower and the Secret Fan by Lisa See.

Money "Cents"

2009-02-09T00:15:00.000-08:00

Even with my dyscalculia, I got it.

Don't Divorce Us

2009-02-07T10:33:00.000-08:00

http://www.couragecampaign.org/page/s/divorce

We, the undersigned, share President Barack Obama's view that "for too long, issues of LGBT rights have been exploited by those seeking to divide us. It's time to move beyond polarization and live up to our founding promise of equality by treating all our citizens with dignity and respect."
Yet, on December 19, 2008, Ken Starr and the Prop 8 Legal Defense Fund filed legal briefs defending the constitutionality of Prop 8 and seeking to nullify the 18,000 same-sex marriages conducted between May and November of 2008.
The Supreme Court will hear oral arguments in this case on March 5, 2009, with a decision expected within the next 90 days. We, the undersigned, ask that the Court invalidate Prop 8 and recognize the marriage rights of these 18,000 couples -- and all loving, committed couples in California -- under our state's constitution.
As Americans who believe in the rule of law and fundamental civil rights, we know that Ken Starr and the Prop 8 Legal Defense Fund's shameful attempt to nullify these unions will not be vindicated in the eyes of history. We know that, ultimately, love will prevail, no matter how hard they try to fight it.

"Fidelity": Don't Divorce... from Courage Campaign on Vimeo.

Busy.

2009-02-07T10:09:00.000-08:00

I hope you enjoy the new music on my blog. Last night I got the weirdest and strongest urge to play piano again. Maybe I'll get a used keyboard off of Craigslist.

I slept in today. I have far too much to do. Here's a breakdown:

1. Go to Old Navy and get a pair of pants.
2. Purchase a few Valentine's gifts.
3. Go to the post office to send out Valentine's Day stuff.
4. Go to the Springfield library to read as much of A Year of Living Biblically as I can in a couple of hours for my ladies book club. I also need to swing by Smith Family Bookstore to buy The Plague for my OTHER book club, also meeting this week.
5. Make vegetable/beef soup.
6. exercise at some point....then shower again.
7. Head to Kendra's for girl/craft night. I'm not especially crafty (except in the Beastie Boys sense, of course), so I'm getting a head start on making the music playlists for Jasmine's wedding. She's getting married in August and asked me to do the music!

Perhaps that's not a lot. But either way I need to get off the computer and start my day!

regret.

2009-02-06T20:49:00.000-08:00

I have very few regrets in life. None of them are sins of commission. Rather, they are experiences and chances I avoided.

One of them in particular is hanging over my head like a movie reel, flashing to scenes of what "could have been" had I waited it out... Visions of a more perfect life flash before my eyes, teasing me in the idealistic way all daydreams do. And now, with deep sorrow, I feel like it's too late.

But then, I suppose that in that very moment when I resigned myself to inaction, I chose the other path.

Dear Mrs. SUV,

2009-02-05T14:51:00.000-08:00

You and I have a lot more in common than I'd like to admit. We both drive SUVs, although mine gets considerably better gas mileage. We both like to park in the "compact cars only" spots in parking garages, but my SUV actually is more compact than most cars. Your Escalade sticks out. We both probably enjoy peering down through the windows of smaller cars beside us at stoplights. It is evident that both of our BMIs are a bit higher than either of us would probably like. You apply makeup while driving, I've seen you. That's ok. I do it too. Although I try to leave the eyeliner job at home. That can get a little messy.

But, Mrs. SUV, there is one glaring difference between us. I know how to cut corners. No, I'm not talking about using a cup less flour when making pie crust, or adding water to my gasoline. I'm talking about staying within my turning lane at an intersection. In the past two days, I have witnessed you and four of your clones cutting people off as you absentmindedly veer into their turning lane. That not-so-faint white line isn't there for you to straddle like you're back in college. You're supposed to stay on your side of it. I have seen the looks of despair, anger and exasperation sweep across your victims' faces as you veer your Monstrosity of Metal all over the damn road. Do your fake nails make it hard for you to accurately turn your steering wheel? Do you think you're in some suburban version of Grand Theft Auto? Well cut your nails and snap back to reality.

I thought I had escaped the likes of you when I left the Metroplex. I was wrong. I guess I can find comfort knowing that, like teenyboppers, SUV Matrons are the same everywhere.

Sincerely,

A Self-Aware SUV Driver

Weekend Update

2009-02-04T22:09:00.001-08:00

Mid-week update really.

I owe the library sixty bucks. Luna munched on the bottom edge of a book cover, tearing the front cover about 2.5 inches, and evidently my sly taping job did not make it past Library Security. But really...$40 bucks? I wish I hadn't even returned the book.

I'm reading a book called "Cabin Fever: Notes From a Part-Time Pioneer," which is written by William Sullivan. He has written dozens of hiking books about Oregon (he's hiked every trail in OR), a couple of fiction novels, and some non-fiction. I saw him speak at the Eugene Home Show about Oregon's natural disasters, or lack thereof. I like the book; it's about the adventures he and his wife endured/enjoyed while building a cabin by hand out in by the Sahalie river.

I'm going to the Ducks basketball game tomorrow. I'm still looking forward to the match up of the Blazers and Mavs. If I think about it too much, I may keel over from anticipation.

My trip to California has been finalized. I'm heading down on the 15th, staying in LA with my buddy Parker on the 16th to help him celebrate his 25th and attend the AC GOLD he's hosting. Then I'll spend a couple of days in sunny San Diego with another good friend before I meander back to Oregon. It should be epic.

It's been sunny lately, and for that I am eternally grateful.

I've already planned the itinerary for when Sarah comes to visit.....in August.

I had a marvelous weekend. I attended the Last Friday Art Walk, which is an alternative to the First Friday Art Walk held downtown in galleries. This art show was spread throughout the Whiteaker neighborhood in artists' homes, bookstores, galleries, coffee shops, a lingerie store and a "flower shop," although to call it such is certainly an injustice. I look forward to making this monthly event a regular thing. I have added this to the itinerary for Sarah's visit. Apparently in the summer it's a giant, wondrous block party with Pabst, music and...art.

I'm very tired tonight after cleaning out my car (I found tons of tupperware!), vacuuming, mopping, doing dishes, 3 loads of laundry, watching the Nightly Business Report and eating Ramen. I should've just gone to hecklers night at the Wandering Goat to enjoy the showing of Top Gun....

Here's a little eye candy for all you ladies and fabulous guys.

entropy

2009-01-25T22:26:00.001-08:00

I took a nap too late today. My energy is probably still zapped from staying up all night Friday, so I could read Eclipse.

I really love the Twilight series. I'm glad I'm not the only intelligent woman who loves it.

It's been a good couple of weeks. Some good game nights, good movies, some nice weather and hiking, and enjoying the company of good people.

I've been reading a lot lately. I bought The Diplomat's Wife at Borders. That book really sucks. I wonder what the return policy is at Borders. I very rarely return items, but then I very rarely buy full-priced books.

I saw Revolutionary Road today. It was of one the scariest movies I've ever seen. No, it's not a horror film. The scary part is that it's real.

I went to the Eugene Home Show this weekend. I heard an interesting speech about Oregon's natural disasters. Apparently a major earthquake will happen relatively soon, causing us to shift 30 ft west. Relatively soon being within the next 200 years, but it could happen today. I also got a Lemon Ginger Yogi Tea sample at the home show. I bought another book. But I'm pretty sure I'll like this one; it's called Cabin Fever.

I'm really looking forward to summer. Now that I know all the opportunities available to me, I will seize it fully. 4th of July at Crater Lake, Sarah visiting, potential trips to Minnesota and DFW, the purchase of a propane grill and gardening are just a few of the things I'm excited about.

But first, I need to clean out my car. I'm missing a lot of things. I have a feeling they're in there somewhere.

This year is Oregon's 150th year of statehood. Apparently for the centennial celebration, all the men grew beards. This is something I wholeheartedly support. I love beards.

Club o' Graphic

2009-01-18T00:38:00.001-08:00

Last night my friend and I were discussing writing, reading and music. As I was fumbling to describe how I'd eventually like to write, I found myself comparing that end result to graphic novels. While I'm not 100% sure on how that comparison popped into my head, she and I continued to discuss how graphic novels take the hard route to convey a theme. It's not necessarily as obvious as a lot of other types of literature.

There is often a lot to discuss about graphic novels, such as characters and their development, plot turns, and what the hell does that picture of that bunny with red eyes sitting on a four-leaf clover on pg. 32 mean. Then I got the great idea to start a graphic novel book club in Eugene.

I have read maybe 2-3 graphic novels all the way through in my lifetime, but I thoroughly enjoyed each one. So I'm definitely an eager novice to the graphic novel scene, and I would hope that such a club would help me find other ones to read and enjoy.

I'm already in two book clubs, and with my tendency to procrastinate, avoid obligation and randomly start other books, that poses enough of a problem in my literary life. But I don't think a graphic novel club would worsen that. They're easy to read, and they can often be finished in a night.

So...this is something for me to think about. I might do some research first, like check out the library's stock of such books.

Infamous Joke

2009-01-15T14:44:00.001-08:00

How is it that this is just now clicking with me?

My dad was fairly notorious for his outlandish jokes and comments. A long time ago some family friends lost their dad. My dad's response? "Too bad, so sad. No dad."

I just wrote an email to a friend saying "too bad, so sad." In my head I finished the statement with "no dad." When the irony of it all hit me, I laughed. I like to think that Dad is laughing with me, wherever he is.

Is 25 Really Alive?

2009-01-11T21:58:00.000-08:00

In short, yes.

With this new age and entry into the mid 20's, I acknowledge that I'm slowly slipping out of my formative years and into my "hardened with age" years. If there are still qualities, traits and habits I want to change, NOW is the time. I've been pondering upon this quite a bit tonight. The list is long, but not long enough to hate my current self.

At any rate, the whole weekend was great. Yesterday was filled with two hours of dog-parking/dog walking, two more hours of laser tag followed by dinner and games at a friend's house, then staying up and talking with my roommate. So I decided to sleep in to an inappropriate time today. Upon waking up I saw I had missed several well-wishing phone calls from my favorite individuals. After talking to all of them, I got some barbecue, which even turned out to be really good. Then my friend and I headed to see a Bijou matinee of Slumdog Millionaire, but it was sold out. So we went to the mall to see The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. I have been wanting to see this movie, I read a couple of glowing blog reviews, and I was pleased.

The movie somewhat stunned me, because I found myself thinking about my dad during the whole thing. I can't place my finger on why, but I suspect the movie's reflections on aging and an aspect of fatherhood played a large role, as did the placement of Louisiana life and a few WWII scenes. Aside from that, it was the perfect movie to see on a 25th birthday where I find myself evaluating where I've been, who I've become, and where I'd like to go. I have a lot more I'd like to say about the movie, but I actually think I'd need to see it again and hopefully not be distracted by mournful thoughts of my dad. This movie made me miss him more desperately than anything I've encountered since his death, a feeling that occured in the first two minutes of the movie and lasted throughout.

The night ended with my roommate presenting me with a cake topped with 25 lit candles! She also gave me a pedicure set, which I promptly used while watching my ridiculous Sunday night shows.

And now that I'm getting old...I'm up way too late.

Bum Fights

2009-01-09T10:33:00.000-08:00

Did any of you ever watch those "movies?" Bum Fights? I watched it a couple of times with my brother, juggling horror and amusement. Bums always make me feel guilty. Guilty for having money, a car, a warm house, food, a bed, a family that cares... Guilty for pretty much existing. I think that's why I avoid them so.

Bums also make me angry at the government and subsequently, angry at the people. I am starting to realize that politicians care about two things: A) getting re-elected and B) making deals with their buddies to get their own agendas passed. To get re-elected, you mostly have to listen to your constituents. I honestly feel like and hope that if people harassed their senators and representatives enough, the change they want could come about. Instead, most of us wait until election day to pick the person whose beliefs are most aligned with our own. My point is that if we really wanted better resources for the homeless, mentally ill and drug addicted folks in our communities...there would be better resources. I'm being horrifically naive today.

I'll stop digressing. Eugene is rife with bums and hobos (there is a difference between the two; I'm stuck in the 30's). My uncle was a hobo during the depression. I'd like to talk to him. The stories that died alongside my father sadden me. I wish I'd written them down.

These Oregon hobobums range in age, many are addicted to meth, some are actually attractive (the beard gets me everytime), and lots have dogs. I tend to care more about dogs than I do people, so when I consider the HoboDog's life, I become sad/glad. I wonder if there are dogs who, like people, desire a life of wandering about. I know a few beagles who wouldn't mind that. But I also know dogs who love the comfort of a blanket, the hum of a television and the warmth of the radiator exuding heat onto their wet bum (Luna, after a good rain). These dogs must be hungry, and a lot of bums hold up signs requesting money to buy their dog food.

Yesterday, for some reason, I believed the bum. While he stood on the curb, his dog lay at his feet, dozing away. After having recently seen Marley & Me, my heart swelled for love of this dog. I fished around for the $5 bill I was going to use to get gas, rolled down my window and waved to the guy. He was in his late 20's, actually kind of cute, and I honestly thought he was just traveling through, taking a break from the Pacific Crest Trail (yeah, in midwinter? get real, brooke). He yanked the leash, startling his dog, who excitedly followed him as he ran up to my car. He saw the $5, and his eyes lit up, and he said....

"Sweet! Enough for a full gram...and a half!"

**on a side note. I advise against using a container that recently housed salsa as a way to transport milk. Spicy milk can really kill an appetite.

Resolutions and a Horrifying Moment

2009-01-06T22:18:00.000-08:00

I have three resolutions for this year:

1. Be on time. Pretty much ANYONE who has done ANYTHING with me knows that I'm late all the time and everywhere I go. I have always attributed this to my dyscalculia, but there's a time when the crutch becomes the disabilty. I also try to say that I'm "living in the now" and enjoying my moments, like five minutes of belly scratching with Luna when I SHOULD be getting ready for something. But, it's time to kiss that delusion goodbye. Sorry Luna.

2. Go to church. Pick your jaw up off the ground. The last time I went to church was with Dad, and I'm sure going again will remind me of him. But I won't be going to a Presbyterian church. I'm going to the Unitarian church, which is far better suited to my system of beliefs. Though, I will miss the hymns.

3. I actually just went blank on what the 3rd one was going to be. But I like the idea of eating a piece of fruit a day. By "piece" I don't mean a cube of pineapple. I mean like..a decent amount. Everyday. The market by my house will help fulfill this mission.

**EDIT: 4. My original third resolution was to keep my desk at work organized.

Now for the horrifying moment. With Christmas passing and my birthday coming up, I decided to make an Amazon Wish List. Partially for me to keep track of things I want (despite my whole...zen attempt to be free of material things), and also so my friends and family can purchase something they know I will like. Even if it's not EXACTLY what's on the list, they'll have a good idea of what I need/want. I have everything from biodegradable dogpoop sacks to a morrocan lantern for my room on that list.

For a long time I have been wanting a magazine subscription, and you can purchase those on Amazon. Well, I hate most magazines. They're SO mainstream and SO full of advertisements, I just don't enjoy them. But lately I am finding myself to be more mainstream and like most people. I greet this realization with shock, dismay, ease and general "okay with that" feelings. It probably has a lot to do with the fact that I'm surrounded by Oregon people rather than Dallas people. I would probably not feel this way if I was in Dallas.

But today, to my utmost horror I slowly, unconsciously moved my cursor and clicked on "Add to Wish List." What did I add? A subscription to O, Oprah's magazine. Probably the MOST mainstream magazine out there. Don't ask, I don't know.

oh. Click here for the wish list. :-)

Head South for Winter

2008-12-24T00:08:00.000-08:00

Just as the seasonal clock struck Winter, it was time for me to head home. My flight was scheduled to leave the Portland Airport at 3 on Monday, and I wanted to get there by noon (in expectation of long lines), so I left home at 9 am. After a fretful goodbye to Luna (fretful on her part, but she was satiated with a bone), I packed up my car and left. About 20 miles north of Eugene, it started snowing quite a bit. Then the snow was sticking. Then there was ice, and I was beginning to just see snow. It was about this time that everyone started driving slowly, so I decided to pull over and put my chains on. After a few F bombs, I managed to get them on and only cut hand a little in the process.

After a 4.5 hour trip, an accidental detour through downtown Portland (where I almost got stuck in a snowdrift of three feet), I made it to the airport! The lines at the Southwest counter were painfully long, but my airline, American Airlines, had no lines. Since I had extra time (my flight had been delayed an hour), I stopped to eat half a sandwich. Then I geared up for what I expected to be an hour wait in the security check. But the long line I assumed was for security was actually a wraparound from United's cancellation line. There was no line for security.

The rest is your typical flight situation. Very few AA flights left Portland, and evidently 300 travelers were stranded (although I had heard at one point 3,000....). I am *so* glad I was not one of them. The picture below is of the horizon around sunset over the clouds. The big white dot is Polaris .

My first day in Texas was pretty good. I spent most of it at my sister's house playing with my niece, and then Mom and I went to Mijo's to eat dinner with my brother and his family. Then I passed out for 2 hours, and proceeded to watch TV like it ain't no thing. I finally stopped halfway through that awful movie "Here on Earth."

When I came into my room to read and sleep, I saw Lexie neatly tucked into my suitcase. That little beast has lost about 15 pounds and is as spry as ever. And still does terribly cute things evidently.

Tomorrow I make an apple and pecan pie, help get ready for Christmas and put up lights in the yard. They're blue, so maybe we can pretend we're Jewish and celebrating Hannukah. That way it'll be ok to leave them up for a few extra days.

8 Things of Christmas? A nonblog.

2008-12-17T17:06:00.000-08:00

I was tagged by my sister!
8 T.V. Shows I watch:

1. Dexter
2. Pushing Daisies
3. Gossip Girl (embarrassed to admit that..)
4. The Hills (also embarrassed)
5. Brothers and Sisters
6. True Blood
7. Reruns of Curb Your Enthusiasm
8. Anything on PBS

8 Favorite Restaurants:

1. Mijo’s (a-town)
2. Boo Boo’s (a-town)
3. Kincaids (Fort Worth)
4. Cuba Libre (Dallas)
5. Tillman’s Roadhouse (Oak Cliff, wha wha)
6. Café Soriah (Eugene)
7. Mac's Bar and Grille (a- town)
8. Salt Lick BBQ(outside of Austin)

8 Things that happened today:

1. I took Luna to work… in her Winter Sweater!
2. I slid through a stop sign/intersection…THAT was fun.
3. I paired lemonade with macaroni and cheese…my stomach hurts
4. I’m working from home…
5. I wore my new outfit (sequins and heels, can you believe it!?)
6. I discovered some new, great music
7. I went a whole day without obsessively checking my budget excel file…so far
8. I still did not find my AMEX

8 Things I look forward to:

1. Kendra’s party on Friday
2. Seeing my awesome, adorable and cuddly niece
3. Spending time with Mom, Sister and brother and their significant others
4. Hanging out with my amazing friends!
5. Ugly Pug, Shiner Bock, Gingerman, Caves, possibly the Shine.
6. Chateau Briand.
7. 25th birthday  ok. I’m not looking forward to the birthday, but I’m looking forward to the present I’m buying myself
8. Going to San Diego in the Spring

8 Things I wish for:

1. http://www.amazon.com/gp/registry/wishlist/7UL5LR426RD8
2. A safe travel home and return
3. Something really callous that I can’t actually say.
4. Free heating!
5. That Luna doesn’t die of anxiety while I’m out of town
6. A great first 100 days (and first 4 years!) for President Obama
7. Less VooDoo economics from our senate and house
8. Duh..no debt!

8 People I tag:
nah.

Blazers, Blizzard and a Beagle

2008-12-15T21:03:00.000-08:00

Friday night I went to the Blazers game in my boss's AMAZING seats. I fell back in love with Rudy Fernandez all over again, and I'm now counting down the days until the Mavs come (he let me have those tickets!)

A few pictures...and a video (lots of "woo-ing")

On the drive home (it was late, the game went into double overtime), I drove through some serious snowfall, and I really hoped it was headed to Eugene for the weekend. After a weekend of lounging around reading, baking pumpkin muffins, mopping, and going to the library, I decided we would not be getting snow as promised. I had really been looking forward to going to Mt. Pisgah for a snowy hike.

However, when I woke up on Monday I received a call from my boss saying it was ok to come in a bit late because of the snow. I eagerly peeked out the window and saw nothing but white frozen-ness. I normally hate snow. It's cold, it's wet, it gets in the way of enjoying life in general. But I take great joy out of seeing my dog romp around in the snow. The drive to work was less than pleasant. I took my camera in hopes of capturing Oregon beauty in snow, but I was too busy fishtailing all over the place. Then I forgot to take my camera into my office for some pictures from the porch. Ah well, here is what I have:

the park on my block

luna in a sweater in the snow

my side yard

Silver Falls Autumn - take 2

2008-12-08T22:32:00.001-08:00

Hanson

2008-12-02T23:04:00.000-08:00

Tonight I was on a downloading-music fest. It started as me downloading children's songs for my niece Callie (sorry Ruth!), and then I decided the (in)famous song "Mmm Bop!" would make a great addition to her fun time CD. Then I found myself downloading all of the songs from Hanson's debut CD.

I have actually owned this CD 3 or 4 times, and of all the CDs I've ever owned, it has probably gotten the most playtime in my player. I was OBSESSED with Hanson in jr high. Yes, I loved the middle kid for his cuteness (I think I even bought a couple of teeny bopper hot-guy picture magazines solely because he was in it), but I really really loved the music. And now, as I listen to the songs for the first time in over a year, and I miraculously remember all of the lyrics, I am in an amazingly awesome mood.

I am SO happy I finally downloaded these songs, and I'm not even 1 millionth as embarrassed about it as I perhaps should be. Hanson rox.

Tis the Season

2008-12-02T11:23:00.000-08:00

With the ChrismaKwanzAkuh season upon us, it's easy to get stressed. Especially with untimely layoffs, tight budgets, and an onslaught of commercialism, we can end up feeling inadequate, depressed or pretty much like nothing can go right.

If anything this is the time to be creative and focus on what is really important. Family, friends and yourself. So, while it may seem a little early, my Holiday Blessing to you is to nurture love, happiness and peace in your life and the lives of those around you.

TGFI

2008-11-29T10:41:00.000-08:00

I've got a lot to be thankful for. I'm thankful my family still loves and supports me, despite the fact I'm over 2,200 miles away. I'm thankful for my friends, old and new, who always lend a listening ear and are great to talk shop with. I'm thankful I have a job I truly enjoy. I'm thankful for Luna!! I'm thankful for a LOT of things.

But this Thanksgiving, I am especially thankful for health insurance. As you probably know, I've recently been attacked by a nasty rhino in the form of a virus. Either I'm a huge wimp, or it was a charging beast, but it sort of did me in.

Yesterday I woke up with a gross cough and difficulty breathing, although most of the pain and sinus pressure had weakened. I decided to find a doctor, because I was concerned I might be getting a bronchial infection. She told me my problem wasn't an infection, but that the cold exacerbated my asthma!

She refilled my Maxair, prescribed me a new inhalor, gave me an OptiChamber, and let me pop a couple of pills. She told me which pharmacy was the fastest and cheapest. After a distressed phone call to my mom (I've been feeling way too cooped up in my house, and there's not a darn thing I can do about it -- I've reached a point near insanity), I headed to the pharmacy. The inhalors would've cost THREE HUNDRED DOLLARS without my insurance. With insurance, they were only $80.

So TGFI. Thank god for insurance!

I hope everyone had an enjoyable Thanksgiving. I did. Last night I was getting some leftover apple pie, and Luna somehow managed to commandeer the plate! So, I guess she had a good one too. :-)

enferma

2008-11-26T10:22:00.000-08:00

I don't like being sick.

I dislike missing work.

My head feels like it's going to implode from pressure.

My throat feels like someone has lodged a throbbing ball where my lymph nodes used to be.

My poor nose is sore.

I thought yesterday would be the worst of it,

but I was wrong.

Today is the worst.

I vow to be spritely tomorrow.

But at least through all of this, I've learned that I'm pretty good at feeling sorry for myself.

Rejoicing and Being Glad in the Day the Lord Made

2008-11-22T10:43:00.000-08:00

I never fully appreciated the glory of a Saturday until I had my first hangover in college, and I realized I could languish in my bed listening to music and sipping on Vanilla Coke -- at least until someone knocked on my door to drag me to lunch.

My gratefulness for Saturday evolved when I discovered the amazing show lineup KERA had on PBS on Saturdays. From about 11 am to 4 pm, I could enjoy shows like Daisy Cooks, Mexico: One Plate at a Time with Rick Bayless, America's Test Kitchen, Ask This Old House (I love love love Kevin O'Connor), and my favorite lazy Saturday show: New Yankee Workshop. I would watch these as I read, wrote papers and then prepared for an evening at the Blue Door Cafe waiting tables and goofing off with my pals.

Now that I am a contributing member of society with a regular 8-5 job, I have a whole new deeply affectionate feeling towards Saturdays. It's not that I dislike my job, I actually love it! There was a time when (Dallas job) I would suffer from the Friday at 4 pm twitches, craving vodka to wash away the tensions of the previous week. Saturday was a day reserved for recuperation as I watched Curb Your Enthusiasmwith my dad before I went out to drown my stress again.

But here I am just pleased to have large blocks amount of time to do things I enjoy or need to accomplish. It's only 11 am, and I have already managed to type a little bit on a story I'm developing. I ate breakfast. I'm enjoying Fleet Foxes music, and I have downloaded some songs I adore. And I still have an entire day to accomplish:
1. going up Spencer's Butte or Mt. Pisgah with Lunar Module
2. sweeping, mopping, dish washing and other domestic tribulations
3. lunch
4. baking a dessert for a night of dining with girlfriends
5. stop by the library
6. read a little in my book
7. girl's night!

I love Saturdays!!!!!!!

(Not So) Common Sense

2008-11-21T00:20:00.001-08:00

If you have a bell pepper that's been in the fridge a few days (read: longer than a week) because you used part of it to make a previous dinner, do a thorough inspection. If any part of it is brown, soft, wilting, or looks like a corpse Tony Soprano once dealt with, don't eat it. DON'T pull a Brooke and cut off "the better looking part." Unless you enjoy vomiting.

And when you have occasional bouts with asthma, take your inhalor with you when you exercise. Even if you've done the route a million times, you never know when your airways will constrict and the wheezing will begin. Because, like Brooke, you might find yourself a mile and a half away from home and a long, wheezy walk back home.

what a night.

Deer in the Headlights

2008-11-11T23:10:00.000-08:00

I almost hit a buck deer pulling into my driveway tonight. He merely looked at me, and if he had shoulders, he would've shrugged them, and he strolled to the neighbor's yard.

What he doesn't know is that I love venison.

Spencer Butte Morning

2008-11-09T21:39:00.000-08:00

Some pics from hiking up Spencer Butte this morning... I'll have to go back when it's not so foggy and take pictures of the city.

Portland

2008-11-09T00:59:00.000-08:00

While I love Eugene and the many wonders it has to offer, I also adore (and miss) big cities and all THEY have to offer. So today while I was looking online for a book called The Lost Steps, and I discovered that Powell's in Portland has it, I decided to head North.

I've been to, through and around Portland. I've been to the airport three times and the Rose Arena once, and that pretty much covers my experience with Portland. Being two hours away, I really need a good excuse to go, and I also need a nice list of things to occupy my time while I'm there. Because while I might drive 3 hours to see a lake in an old volcano, driving 2 hours to go shopping is a bit ridiculous.

My first stop was Powell's bookstore, which I have heard a bit about from people in my book club. For those of you who have been to the Half Price Books on Northwest Hwy in Dallas....you ain't seen nothin' yet. Powell's is ginormous. For those of you who have been to Booked Up in Archer City, TX....you're on the right track. The store itself is actually several different buildings housing several "types" of books. I mistakenly went into the Technical Books building first, but I walked out with a cool gift for a coworker for secret santa and a book for myself called Coma. Eventually I made it to the main store on Burnside. Because of the Wordstock Festival going on, the place was beyond packed. Lines to get in, lines all over the place. I really had been looking forward to aimlessly wandering around with my mouth slightly ajar and drool dripping onto my shirt. But with all these hipster Portlanders around, I had to keep my cool. Plus my parking meter was going to run out soon. The book I needed was on the first set of shelves, so I grabbed it and found a parking place in line.

I decided to get a little lost in the Pearl District on my way back to the car, and ended up going to Lexi Dog, which was enticing because A) I have a dog named Lexie back home in Texas and B) Luna is spoiled. It's a "boutique and social club" for dogs. They had a wide variety of treats (organic and homemade) and special birthday-ish treats. Apparently you can actually host a dog birthday party there for a nominal fee of $110. I think Luna enjoyed her day at the arboretum just fine. I walked out with a relatively cheap package of Duck and Potato treats for the dogs at home. The election gear for dogs was half off, but there were no Obama shirts for Luna, and she is not a member of the Democrat or Republican parties, and that's all they had.

Then I called my friend (actually the girl who lived in my room before me) to see if she wanted to grab some dinner at Al Amir, an Eastern food restaurant my old roommate suggested. In the meantime I decided to cruise around Portland, and I almost killed a biker (it totally wasn't my fault...but he still fell off of his bike and cussed me out, which I probably would've done too if I was him. But I maintain that it wasn't my fault). I found my way easily to the restaurant, with no bikes stuck on my front bumper. I really enjoyed the food! I got the Lamb Shawarma and hummus. Then we went back to her house, where I met her roommates, and we all watched some TV, sipped some homemade pear wine, and then I left.

All in all, I got a decent dose of city life, although I wish I had stopped in a couple of art galleries. I always feel guilty for not buying when I go into them though.

Waiting on the World to Change....

2008-11-04T09:03:00.000-08:00

I've done my part. I hope you've done yours.

uhm.

2008-10-30T13:24:00.000-07:00

I have this great area of my heart and sympathies which I reserve especially for old people. And when you combine that with people truly believe in their convictions and go forth to fight for them and are lambasted left and right by ...well, everyone, it creates this awful feeling inside me.

This is how I have come to feel immensely sorry for John McCain. He and I would probably never be friends, considering his lack of respect for women, but then again Larry David and I would probably never hit it off because our outlandish, oft-voiced insecurities and odd opinions would never allow it.

Starting back when he conceded to Bush in the primaries of 2004, McCain has morphed into this uber-Republican, only to be forsaken by the GOP. It's almost like they actually have a democrat running the group, and that's why all these terrible decisions and campaign maneuvers are actually happening.

It wouldn't have taken a genius to realize Palin would have been a mere firecracker to ignite the party, it just required some foresight. And despite all of her hot air, she can't keep the enthusiasm of Americans afloat. His campaign has stoked the coals of racism, anti-commie BS, and more of the old classic --- fear among the American people. Things have gotten out of control, and I truly believe this non-politician, whatever personality flaws he may have, is probably ready for it to be over.

Someone as matter of fact and...well...lacking composure as John McCain is not suited for the circus of Political America. And for that...I feel sorry for him.

Not sorry enough to vote for him, of course.

All Functions in Life Have a Cutoff Point

2008-10-18T10:24:00.001-07:00

The other day I went to the Lane County Elections office to give them my updated address, because we vote by mail here (weird, huh?). As I walked in, an older man was rushing into the office and made a beeline for the first attendant.

"I need to register to vote!" He exlaimed.

The calm, burly man behind the counter explained that the last day to register was October 4th, but perhaps he had registered before and could simply update his address.

"No. I've never registered to vote. I need to vote!"

The two went back and forth a bit, and finally I heard the attendant say, "All functions in life have a cut off point."

This statement sent me soaring into my own thoughts, and I didn't hear the wannabe voter's response. First I was struck by the truth that this election is bringing people out of the woodwork. This man had NEVER registered to vote, an idea completely foreign to me. He was at least sixty years old. But something about this election was sending him into a frenzy. He acted like people do in the ER when their child's head is bleeding out, as though this was a matter of life or death.

The election attendant is right. There is a cutoff point, but not just for registering to vote. For all functions in life. This has been a year filled with both exciting new beginnings and very sad, difficult goodbyes. The old cliche is true.. as one door closes, another opens. You can't hang in the rafters forever gazing at a bunch of doors left slightly ajar. It's often hard to identify the cutoff point. When do I say "ok, I'm going to end this now" or "This is the time to start something new." It's a difficult course to chart, but making those definitive decisions is what allows us to change and grow.

autumn night

2008-10-14T19:41:00.000-07:00

Tonight was a great Autumn night. The moon was full, the air was crisp, and the mood was calm.

Religulous

2008-10-10T23:47:00.000-07:00

I just got back from seeing the movie Religulous, directed by Larry Charles (Curb and Seinfeld fans might know him) and starring Bill Maher. This movie was extremely thought provoking. I left feeling a paradoxical combination of discouragement and the need to act.

Without going into too much detail about my own religious beliefs (most of you don't care, and none of you have that kind of time) and how the world should turn according to those beliefs, I can say that this movie adequately highlights my reasons for breaking with organized religion. However, I'm not totally sure I agree with or appreciate the approach.

Bill Maher is the arrogant pessimist visiting high-ranking church, state and media evangelical officials (but wait, aren't those usually one in the same?). He also interviews individuals you might find in your book club, across the cubicle, serving your food, teaching your children, or... sitting in your pew. In each of these encounters, he seeks a soapbox. My parents raised me in a fashion, and I have learned they were right through my own blunders in life, to maintain a certain level of respect when you're on someone else's turf. Not only would you expect the same of them, but in doing so it is easier to participate in a dialogue with as unemotional answers as possible. He throws this caution to the wind as he blatantly tells people there is no proof of their religion, their book was written by ordinary men, and basically the fortress around which they've developed their beliefs and lived their life is actually made of imagination. Now whether or not I agree with this isn't the point. This stance never elicited a proper conversation, it only makes him look like the embodiment of pragmatism. And in the end, he implied that by going to church, temple, or whatever you are contributing to all the evil in the world. This struck me as the same as my belief that people that shop at Wal-Mart are encouraging a damaged economy. So I guess I'm a bit hypocritical in my anger towards him on this subject.

The movie was a serious one. The terrifying truths exposed by his impish questioning of these people were softened with comic reliefs of clips from old films, current videos, and audio clips mocking whatever it was they were discussing. I laughed a LOT in this movie. But I walked away feeling incredibly, incredibly discouraged by humanity.

However, all that aside... I completely agree the movie's overall point. These religions, which purport to be so different, so right and so condemning, are drawing the world in sketches of black and white, while we all know there is a spectrum of color in our lives. Such a division of "us and them" is naturally going to create animosity and the need to correct "them." It's all relative. My experiences are so vastly different from yours. The decisions I make shape my destiny in a different form than yours. But in the end, you and I will both die, and the end doesn't justify the means.

MFFL....I swear

2008-10-09T00:44:00.000-07:00

Let me begin this post by affirming that I AM a Mavs Fan For Life. Dirk is my homeboy, and even when Mavs players leave our team to fight the good fight elsewhere, I still cheer them on. If Finley scores a 3-pointer against us, I still yell "DOOOWWWNNTTOOWWN."

Having said this, I have adopted the TrailBlazers as my team to watch this season. Such a drastic shift in support is due to a combination of circumstances.....and...sheer "entusiasmada" (enthusiasm..you'll understand the Spanish in a bit). It is mostly due to the fact that I only get local channels and can only watch local games. Also, my boss gave me 2 tickets to tonight's game against the Golden State Warriors. His season tickets are literally four rows up. It was crazy, and of course I forgot my camera. I LOVE watching basketball, and to be so close was beyond exhilirating.

And then.... I fell in love. The Blazers signed a new player from Spain named Rudy Fernandez. I was struck by his heartwrenching good looks. But once I moved past the love at first sight phase, I quickly realized...he's QUITE the ballplayer. Constantly keeping the communication lines open with his teammates, NOT hogging the ball, shooting...and shooting well, and having a GREAT attitude on the court (unlike the Warriors). He's incredible. What a great addition to the NBA. I AM SO EXCITED. I feel that he will be a key player in the hopeful success (but not tooooo successful - I've got my boys back home to think about) of this year's team.

Bienvenido Rudy!! Oh, did I mention the best part? He's got a blog!! I hope you can read Spanish :-)

Welcome to the Goondocks

2008-10-04T22:56:00.000-07:00

NOTE: Turn up your speakers to hear "The Goonies R Good Enough" by Cyndi Lauper... And if you want to see a larger version of any of the pictures, just click on it.

For those of you who don't know, the cult classic The Goonies was mostly filmed in Astoria, Oregon. As a huge fan of this movie, I cannot possibly reside in Oregon without sojourning to this Mecca for children of the 1980s. So today I hauled Luna on what I thought would be a 8 hour day trip to Astoria and Cannon Beach in Northwest Oregon to see the sites. You may be thinking "Why in Buddha's name would she waste all that gas driving to see something so lame?" Well, part of the fun IS the drive and seeing everything along the way. Also, if you're asking yourself that question, you just don't get the Goonies.

First of all, Luna was not happy on the first leg of the trip. I think she figured we were just going to the dog park, and when we hit the highway, she let it be known this was NOT what she had in mind for her Saturday.

After four hours of driving, we arrived in Astoria. It is an ADORABLE town. Right on the Columbia River, the houses are all uniquely painted and scattered throughout the hillside. I loved it!

I easily found the Goonies house. To get to it, I had to park my car on the street and walk up a small hill of a driveway that led to several houses. I was disappointed to discover they had someone there working on their house, and the van was blocking the perfect picture angle! So I had to be a gawking tourist and stand directly in front of the house and surreptitiously take pictures. These are the best I could do!

And a view of the Goondocks from the house!

The school from Kindergarten Cop:

Then I headed to Ecola State Park outside of Cannon Beach. This is also where part of the movie was filmed, along with the ending of Point Break (Keanu Reeves...). Most of the bike scene (where Brand gets pushed off of Data's sisters bike) was filmed in the entrance drive to the State Park. Probably one of the windiest, tree-heavy roads I've ever been on...but very cool! I really, really enjoyed this state park. I look forward to going again to go whale watching (apparently a prime spot), sea lion watching, and more beach exploration! From the awesome vantage point, I could see the Tillamook Rock Lighthouse, the Sea Lion Rock (a natural arch rock where a myriad of animal life thrives), Haystock Rock (see below) and plenty of fun trails to hike :-).

A view from the driftwood. It was very misty.

Seagulls on the Sea Lion Rock

Luna was not interested in having her Sea Portrait taken.

A great place to soak up some rays....when the sun is out.

The next stop was Cannon Beach, an absolutely ADORABLE town. It was definitely a tourist type place, with tons of little shops and cafes. It kind of made me wish I hadn't spent all of my money on gas to get there! But I can always go back. The houses were cute. It was in a Tsunami Hazard Zone (as much of Hwy 101 is). Despite that, I would definitely love to vacation there some time in the future.

I was able to get a photo of Haystack Rock. This rock is famous from the movie when Mikey holds up the coin and determines they are in the right spot for treasure hunting.

After that I was pretty much Goonie-d out. But I still had about a 4.5 hour drive home. Sadly, when I went into Walgreens to buy batteries for my camera, I came back to discover Luna had eaten the drumstick bone and chicken wing bone from my lunch that I forgot to throw away. As of yet there haven't been any problems... So she was pretty lazy for the rest of the trip and just laid in her bed in the backseat.

I stopped at a viewpoint and got a couple of pretty snapshots of the sun filtering through some clouds and shedding some light on the ocean. As dark and gray as it was, it really brightened up those spots.

The rest of the drive home went smoothly, with some patches of rain, lots of dark, curvy oceanside roads, and great Sirius radio music. A road trip to people traveling through Oregon...instead of counting out-of-state license plates or slug bugs, count the number of drive-thru espresso shops. You WILL be astounded. I didn't...I might be dorky enough to go on this daylong venture, but I'm not dorky enough to have a espresso shop counting contest with myself...

Now...I might watch The Goonies..my coworker lent me her copy!

A Year Ago Today...

2008-10-02T22:11:00.000-07:00

Last year on October 3rd (that's what it is in Central time!), everyone's favorite new family member was born! Callie B! That day was the happiest day our family had in a long time, and Callie continues to be everyone's pride and joy. At the risk of sounding really corny, she is our little light of hope and desire to be good. Happy FIRST Birthday Callie B...Thanks Ruth and Chad for giving me the most adorable niece ever! Pictures, in her case, say it best...

Autumn Has Colors?

2008-10-02T16:54:00.000-07:00

Even though Autumn has just begun in Eugene, the colors are already turning spectacular. I'm excited to see what it looks like in a couple of weeks. I'll have to make another trip out to Silver Falls and take the "Autumn Falls" pictures.

I think I might make my road trip to Astoria/Cannon Beach this weekend to check out the LAND OF THE GOONIES! It'll definitely be an all day trip...

I'll take some Autumn pictures next week and post them ;0)

Me, Today.

2008-10-01T15:07:00.000-07:00

On Nov. 5th I will either have no hair left due to my constantly pulling it out, OR all of my hair will be gray.

On the bright side, one of the trees outside of my office window has turned a delightful Autumn yellow.

I have courtside tickets to a Blazers game next week.

I might eat a mooseburger tomorrow as I watch Sarah Palin divebomb her way out of the election.

If I Had a Golden Ticket

2008-09-26T19:22:00.000-07:00

Prior to April of this year, I was very excited about Austin City Limits Music Festival. Three days of music, Shiner bock, sunshine, Austin sweat, grass stains, sunburn, and friends? Um, heaven does exist in Zilker park.

But when I decided to move to Oregon, I had to make certain sacrifices. Obviously, I am no longer amongst family and long-time close friends. Obviously, I gave up weeks of sunshine during Wintertime. But ACL was another sacrifice I had to make. Sure...I could've flown to Austin (at least $400 or so) and attended the festival (another $180), but I just don't have that kind of cash flow.

BUT IF I had a ticket to ACL..this is the schedule I would see! (Click on the links to go to their myspace and hear music!)

Friday:
Wake up, get some Austin's pizza, load up and head out..
2:30 - Vampire Weekend
4:30 - Gogol Bordello
5:30 - Hot Chip
8:30 - Manu Chao

Party time.

Saturday:
12:30 pm - Fleet Foxes
1:30 pm - Sharon Jones & the Dap Kings
2:30 pm - Jose Gonzalez
5:30 pm - MGMT
6:30 pm - Jon Fogerty
8:30 pm - The Black Keys

Party Time II.

Sunday:
12:30 pm - Abigail Washburn & the Sparrow Quartet with Bela Fleck
1:30 pm - The Kills
3:30 pm - Stars
4:30 pm - Neko Case

Salt Lick break, then head up to the front for
7:30 - Band of Horses

On another note, I had a delicious barbecue sandwich today. It was from this bbq stand across the street from Safeway that I've been to a couple of times, but it had been closed for some reasons. Turns out the guy that runs the stand was born in Denison, Texas (adjacent to Sherman, which is where I went to college).

I thought that was CRAZY!

I just got done watching the debate. It was a good debate.

things that suck...

2008-09-25T02:30:00.000-07:00

I'll tell you one thing that sucks. Having a dream that there is a sneaky murderer living close by you, and then in real life the dogs in the house barking viciously at the front door at 2 am. And then realizing that your roommate stayed at her boyfriend's house, so if there is a vicious murderer/rapist/burglar/sociopath/drug fiend, you'll have to fend them off alone. THAT sucks.

I think my only weapon is...chunking my tv at his/her head. or bashing my roommate's guitar over the head.

But other than that, things are going very well. Except I *desperately* need more allergy medicine. and a much, much less active imagination.

You've GOT to Be Kidding

2008-09-24T15:23:00.000-07:00

With the campaigns not quite at their height and the economy teetering on the edge of self destruction, there is a LOT of "media coverage" out there. I don't want to say I agree with Dusty Horwitt's equivalent of a blog , but he's got a point when he says the online barrage of facts and lies brings a new meaning to "too much information," or as my favorite jerk in Scranton, Michael Scott, would say, "TMI."

So, with all this excess of information, I am finding it more and more difficult to drill down on what's real, what's important and what's relevant.

Therefore, I was appalled when I went to my yahoo mail page, which always greets me with today's top headlines, and THIS is what I saw:

What? Michael Douglas is fielding questions about this CRISIS that America is facing?? That's about as relevant and important to me as Clay Aiken finally coming out of the closet. What I want to read is what Congress has to say about Paulson's three-page OUTLINE of the federal bailout of national companies! I don't care about some hairbrained reporter asking, " "Are you saying Gordon that greed is not good?"

I know it's on the entertainment tab of the headlines box, but it was the first headline that greeted me. I didn't have to click "Entertainment" to see it.

So what's worse? The fact that Yahoo put it on there or the fact that Americans are actually more interested in what Michael Douglas has to say about the economy than the people they elected to represent them?

No wonder Sarah Palin is doing even remotely well in the polls. Oh...I wonder what toner and skin cream she uses? Maybe someone will write an article about it, as opposed to discussing, oh...I don't know.....her stance on diplomacy over preemptive war.

Dog Park Woes

2008-09-22T20:09:00.000-07:00

As you know I love going to the dog park. It's even more exciting that there is an extremely cute guy there to brighten the landscape.

But tonight, and last night, Luna acted out. I'd like to blame it on the fact that she ate a pork chop bone last night and wasn't feeling well, but I think she's just an ornery little dog sometimes.

Last night someone got a little too frisky with her, and she screamed at them. And when I say screamed, I mean scream. She's got this loud howl/bark mixture, and she throws in a rabbit scream. It sounds like someone is torturing her. And she gets snarly and jumps up at the other dog's face. I don't think she'd EVER bite, but it's still disconcerting.

Tonight I thought things were going smoothly. It was REALLY cold (well, 52 degrees, but I thought it was cold), but cold in an invigorating way. My roommate and her dogs were there, and Luna and Nikko were playing fetch with me. It was dark out, and I was walking around looking for a ball, when this bright, new neon green tennis ball appeared out of nowhere. I considered picking it up, but I figured some owner might've just bought it, so I decided to leave it alone.

But Luna evidently thought it'd be a good idea to get it for me, and when she went for it this dog appeared out of nowhere and lunged at her growling, to which she responded with her usual vicious valor. Then ALL the dogs decided to join in, and next thing I know I'm surrounded by four or five dogs all barking and growling. And I didn't know what to do!! I've read a million times to grab your dog by their hind legs and pull them out when that happens, but I couldn't even see Luna's hind legs and frankly, I thought they might be in some dog's mouth. Well the other dog's owner got their dog out, and Luna skulked away...knowing she had messed up. Nikko ended up with the ball! But Luna was sitting, waiting for me at the edge of the meadow. Her ears were drooping, and she knew that was not a lady-like way to behave. As I walked away, I heard one of the spectators at the picnic table commenting that they thought it was the "little guy" that started it. I cringed and wanted to retort back to save my dog's honor.

I was glad she was ok and that no dogs were hurt. But I was mortified...mortified to see that the my dog park crush must've arrived in the middle of all that and seen it all.

Any tips on how to get a defensive/territorial dog to not be that way? She's fine at home...so it's not necessarily with other dogs. I think it's just when she feels cornered.

Harvest Moon

2008-09-17T17:38:00.000-07:00

It happens this time of year.
The sun and moon illuminate the sky with an equal hue, an equal power.

The branches dance, rejoicing.
Their leaves whisper words of welcome, chattering in brief spells of chills.

This is her new year. When the two sky lights are one, disengaging the disparity between dark and light.

Whole, too, does her soul become.

This time marks the end.
This time marks the beginning.
It's print is as humble as the morning tide's gentle caress.

Here is where the mist and haze of what is yet to come surrounds her.

Looking over her shoulder, she recognizes the view.
It's landscape is vast, created by two foes, wrestling for power.
The tall mountain, charged by the convergence of fate and trodden by her feet, stands looming the distance.

She smiles wanly, knowing its foothills, boulders, creeks and trees of shade.
Its leaves, her memories, shake with sadness and dance with joy as she rambles on.
Reaching for one, she plucks it from its branch.

Breathing deeply, she fills her lungs with the air of paradoxes around her.
High. Low. Dark. Light.
The flavors are the same, as they have not yet been defined.
They have not yet become.

The sun and moon beckon her forth.
The subdued hum of the moon's pleasant orange cools the glittering passion of the sun's orange.

Clasping the leaf, her souvenir, her memory, she wipes a lone tear from her cheek.
She steps forward towards the orange dawn of what has not yet become.

Dance Party

2008-09-17T00:33:00.000-07:00

Some of my friends and I keep talking about going to 80's night at a local club on Thursday nights. Apparently the DJ will play any song you request, and it's great dancing fun.

But if it's dancing they're looking for, perhaps I should just invite them over to my house at about 11:30 pm each night. That's when my room becomes a discoteque. Because that's when my neighbors decide to put on their best 70's pop vinyls and do.....whatever it is they do. Last night I was sung to sleep with songs like "Jungle Love" and "Dream Weaver." Tonight they seem to be focusing on Queen.

I actually don't mind it. Not only is it comforting, to have that noise and liveliness next door (although I'm sure if I were abducted, they couldn't hear me screaming), but it makes me feel warm inside. The music brings familiar sounds, feelings, and emanates a warm color that makes me feel cozy and relaxed. And considering that I can fall asleep despite almost anything, it poses no trouble in that way.

I don't know what it is they do while listening to the music, and frankly I could go the rest of my life without knowing or caring. All I say is bring on the REO Speedwagon and ABBA, because lord knows a life needs a little music.

Also, I suppose it's a fair trade for Luna's ferocious and intimidating howls at the passersby.

Crater Lake

2008-09-14T22:29:00.000-07:00

I can't believe I haven't written about my day at Crater Lake yet!

After a rough start in the morning (forgetting my wallet, sleeping in, etc.), I FINALLY was on my way for the three hour trip out there. The first part was a beautiful drive, through winding roads surrounded by tallllll trees and sudden drop offs.

Then I reached the Deschutes National Forest. The only thing I know about the word "Deschutes" is that there's a Deschutes Brewery that makes fabulous beer (my favorite being the Black Butte Porter) and a large river with that name. This forest wasn't as beautiful as I had anticipated (it was still gorgeous, just not AS gorgeous) due to wildfires.

Finally I reached the park, bought an annual pass for $20. It's $10 a trip, and this way I can go next summer as much as I want, provided gas isn't too ridiculous.

I started the venture with a hike down to the water's edge. It was incredibly blue and clear. Pretty much incredible. I found a great spot on a rock, half in the shade and half in the sun, and sat down to read awhile to enjoy the cool air from the lake and the warm rays of the sun. There were some guys above me on a large boulder doing all sorts of cool dives and flips into the lake. I really wished I had brought my bathing suit!

Then I hiked back up, which was a little more difficult than I had anticipated, but WELL worth it. After that I just drove around for awhile gawking at the stark beauty of the lake and its surroundings. I enjoyed driving through the park and taking pictures. I got some souvenirs at the lodge (a sheet of postcards and a much needed rain proof windbreaker!), then I drove around some more. Then I drove home for three hours and went out to enjoy some of that Black Butte Porter! I've posted a slideshow below!

Palin Frigid to Polar Bears

2008-09-13T23:10:00.000-07:00

This (in)famous picture is used by environmentalists everywhere to strike a realization into people's hearts about the real effects of global warming. Oftentimes people are put off by such drastic displays of life and death situations being used to sway opinions and actions. Sadly, it's quite relevant to my blog.

Sarah Palin, my new favorite target, and the state of Alaska have sued the federal government for listing polar bears as a "Threatened Species under the Endangered Species Act."

Polar bears were listed as such because of their reliance on sea ice. Not only is this their habitat, but it is the resting place of seals, the entree of choice for polar bears. I think ~~we can all~~ most of us can agree that global warming is a very real issue in which our behavior can make changes. Without change and innovation, the sea ice will disappear and the polar bear population will drastically turn downward.

What does Sarah Palin have to say about this seemingly innocent "threatened species" listing of polar bears? Not only is this finding "not based on sound science" (-wired.com), but evidently the polar bear population is growing! See:

"In fact, the number of polar bears has risen dramatically over the past 30 years," she said. "Our fear (is) that extreme environmentalists will use this tool, the ESA, to eventually curtail or halt the North Slope production of very rich resources that America needs." -- Wired.com

Yes, some polar bear populations have grown. Steve Amstrup of the U.S. Geological Survey explains this in the Anchorage Daily News:

"Amstrup said bear population trends have sometimes been misunderstood. The numbers have trended upward since the 1960s, he said, as overhunting was stopped internationally and better data became available. But the healthy trend has now been reversed by the new and overwhelming factor of habitat loss." But the scientists know what they're doing. They're trajectory predicts dire straits (no pun intended) for polar bears.

One MAJOR benefit of placing these animals on the list is more protection of their lands and more scientific research into renewing their habitat via reversing the effects of global warming (ultimately helping US and OUR children).

What resources are being held captive by this new listing?

Oil and gas. Palin's veins run deep with oil, and without it, her prosperity drops. So, much like Bush and Cheney, she places her own self interest and pockets above that of reason, science, and the environment. Am I surprised? Heck no. Are you? You shouldn't be.

And while we're on the topic of "sound science," how about her stance on teaching creationism in school?

I assure you there will be maaayybe just a couple of more political blogs. I really am holding back.