what it feels like

Lately I've been thinking about Luna a lot. She appears in practically every dream I have, and often she is the centerpiece of the dream. I think about her when I'm awake, and I'm still in shock that she's gone. I knew coming to terms with her absence would take a very long time, and I don't think I'm close.

But I've noticed that when I think about her, I feel a sensation all over my body. It's not just that I have a hole in my heart or my soul where she used to be; it feels as though every single cell that makes up my being is a bit empty. I can feel it in my skin, I can feel it inside my chest cavity, I can feel it in my head, and I can feel it in the blood that runs through me. It also feels like I'm reaching for something that's not there.

I know I sound crazy. And I know a lot of people think it's ridiculous to have this much difficulty grieving the loss of a pet, but that's sad to me that those people have missed out on the amazing bond and friendship that I had with Luna.