Hump Day

Oregon is looming ahead in the not-so-distant future. If everything goes according to our revised travel plan, I'll be arriving on Tuesday. Then I'm off to Vancouver on Friday morning for the wedding, and back to Eugene on Sunday. I have vowed not to get in my car for the entire next week after that.

This morning I realized that it's just plain stupid of me to think I can get everything done that I need to tomorrow before 5 pm, in order to nap until midnight then start a drive to Flagstaff. Also, my poor mother, who is accompanying me on this trek, would be forced to semisleep in the car. So we are now just driving to Albuquerque the first day. This lengthens the time of the trip, but relieves a lot of pressure and stress. Plus we'll have more time to enjoy New Mexico, because the leg from Albuquerque to Flagstaff isn't very long at all. She's a superfan of this idea.

Today was my last day at work. It was a lovely day of bittersweet (and just plain sad) farewells, as I hugged and said goodbye to the residents and my coworkers. I have really been lucky to work at a place where there is always someone to go to with a problem, whether it be professional or personal. Grace (where I worked) has been the backdrop to a lot of major life changes and events for me, and it will always be a part of my life and memories. I have found some very close friends, role models, and sages there, and I'm thankful for that.

I got to visit with Abbie tonight, and we had a typical evening of discussion and laughter. Neither of us are great at saying goodbye and prefer to act like it's not a finite situation. So we just said "see ya later" and parted ways. Copied below is a poem she gave me:

The Journey

One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice --
though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles.
"Mend my life!"
each voice cried.
But you didn't stop.
You knew what you had to do,
though the wind pried
with its stiff fingers
at the very foundations,
though their melancholy
was terrible.
It was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen
branches and stones.
But little by little,
as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice
which you slowly
recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,
determined to do
the only thing you could do --
determined to save
the only life you could save.

~ Mary Oliver ~

On Sunday my mother hosted a going away party for me (thanks Mom!!). A lot of family members and friends came. It was wonderful to have most of the people I love in one place. Of course, all of our hearts had a vacancy as my dad was not there. I'm going to visit his spot tomorrow, and I'm sure this will be really difficult as I say goodbye to his resting place. Luckily I have a lifetime of memories to cling to. I've been thinking/dreaming about him a lot lately, and as difficult as this is, I still have him in my life. I'd rather have that than just a fog of a memory.

Honestly, one of the things I've been most upset about is the thought of leaving my two family dogs, Katy and Lexie, behind...particularly Katy. She's a very sensitive soul, and my heart is breaking at the thought of leaving her and taking her best friend (Luna, my dog) with me. I have to take them to the vet to be boarded tomorrow, and I'm sure I'm going to make a big, emotional Steel Magnolias worthy scene. My mom and I had a long discussion about it last night, and although I do feel better, I still feel pretty terrible about it. I just didn't realize how attached I'd become to them in my time at home.

Well now that I'm in tears, I'd better just head to bed before I think about it too much. I've got a lot to accomplish before 5 pm tomorrow, and a good rest is the best way to approach The List [of things to do before I leave]. Next time you hear from me, I'll be snacking on sopapillas in New Mexico!